Author: cbarney.45

Stacking wins to feel better

Do you agree that if you eat healthier, you feel healthier? Or if you are already a healthy eater, would you agree that when you eat poorly, you feel worse?

The same thing can be said about any good decision – it puts you in a better mood and a better position to continue succeeding…take exercise habits, for example. You may not enjoy exercising, but once you finish working out, don’t you usually feel better? Don’t you feel like you’ve accomplished something? That doesn’t even Include the actual health benefits. You’re also likely to feel less stressed, sleep better, and have an improved mood.

I like to stack as many wins as I can to start my day. It gets me off on the right foot and makes me want to continue building momentum. To do this, the first thing I do is wake up early. When you wake up earlier, nobody is vying for your attention. You have time to yourself. You can choose to get ready for your day, you can read and try to improve your mind, you can practice deep breathing or meditate, you can pray…You can do so many things when you wake up early and, usually, it will decrease the stress in your life. By checking off all of those items that you wanted to get done, you would also decrease the anxiety that you may suffer from.

On resilience

I read a quote/meme on LinkedIn recently that said, “Instead of prioritizing teaching kids to be resilient, we should focus on eliminating traumatic events.”

While I think that the person who said this is coming from a good place, I disagree with it wholeheartedly.

Absolutely, I wish there were less traumatic events in life. I wish there were no school shootings, I wish there was no bullying, etc, etc.

But we can’t control everything – including what others do, say, or think. If we don’t try to teach kids to build resilience by overcoming defeat and by seeing/facing traumatic experiences, eventually, trivial events will seem traumatic to them. If the worst thing that happens to them is they get a “B” on their report card, that will be considered traumatic to them. After all, nothing else bad has happened to them, so they have nothing else to compare it to. That becomes the most traumatic event in their life. How will they handle it? They can try harder, or they can play the victim card (which it seems is what society caters to).

We can’t stop death. What happens when a kid faces the death of a loved one? It’s already hard for them (and it always will be/should be). But if they have never encountered any challenges along the way, do you think they will be more or less equipped to handle it?

So, while I do want their to be less trauma in the world, I think it is imperative that we still focus on teaching/building resilience and mental toughness. As John F. Kennedy said, “Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.”

Life can be difficult. Instead of wishing for it to be easier (less trauma), make yourself stronger (mentally, physically, and emotionally) to handle it.

The best way to build a team

The best way to build a team is to surround yourself with people who have similar values as you (integrity, work ethic, respect, optimism, etc), but who do things differently than you.

Being a person of integrity means to do what you feel is right with the information at hand (even when nobody is looking), to be able to admit when you’re wrong, and to keep your promises. It’s usually “easier” to be a person of integrity if you don’t care what people think about you…if you believe an action is right, even if it’s not popular, you should do it instead of going with the flow.

If everyone is always learning/growing, the team will go much further than if they have to rely on one person to come up with all of the ideas. Learning/growing is part of work ethic, as is the willingness and ability to work dutifully for yourself, your team, and your clients.

If everyone respects each other, even when they disagree, they will be more open/receptive to hearing out the other team member’s opinion. You want different perspectives. You want people to be able to voice their opinion without fear of being ostracized. You don’t want everyone to believe the same thing, otherwise you might have a blind spot to a weakness in your team.

If everyone is optimistic, it doesn’t mean that everything is always good. But it does mean that you can find some good in any situation. Failure will make you stronger, give you experience, and teach you lessons better than success can. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how bad things get, they can get better if you take action to make them better. We don’t want any victims here. No victim mindset. No “woe is me.” If you don’t like your situation, it’s up to you to change it. Nobody should care about your life more than you, so if you want things to get better, you need to be the one to take control.

Are you “winning” the wrong game?

Have you ever gotten so sucked into the idea of “winning” that you forgot that you’re trying to win something you don’t care about/isn’t important to you? Are you winning at work, but your health or family life suffering as a result?

Wake up everyday and live intentionally…

  • Look at your calendar. What do you have to do for the day? What are your priorities that need to get done?
  • Look at your goals (both short-term and long-term). Is what you’re scheduled to do bringing you closer to your goals?
  • Take a step back throughout the day to see if you are still in control…are you working on what you deemed was most important or are you putting out fires/reacting to what has come up? Don’t just do busy work. Work on the things that matter.