Author: cbarney.45

Using adversity as a positive

Adversity isn’t a stumbling block…it’s a stepping stone to success. Don’t let tough times get you down. Instead, use them to learn and take you to where you want to be!

It’s been said that there is no growth without discomfort. And there’s no doubt that facing adversity can be very uncomfortable. But if you realize that and make the most of any situation (good or bad), you will grow from it. You will always have that experience to remember what to do or what not to do, and the ramifications of your actions or inactions.

Keys to happiness

I find that I’m happiest when I’ve lived a fully balanced day. Living a “full day” includes the following:

1) Doing something challenging mentally (consuming/creating content, working on a project, etc.), physically (working out or using my hands/body to create something), and financially (setting my family up for future success by doing a money-creating or money-saving activity).

2) Spending time with family and friends.

3) Resting…taking time to relax, preferably in nature. Imagine watching the morning sunrise, going for a hike in the woods, or looking up at the stars at night. If you could do one of those three (let alone, all three), that would add to a great day

4) Doing something nice for others.

Most people think that not working is the key to happiness, but I disagree. You don’t necessarily need to have a “job,” but you should always be working hard towards a goal. You need to have exciting goals that give purpose and meaning to your life. If you sit around and do nothing all day you’re going to feel lazy. You won’t find lasting happiness after binge watching movies and eating too much pizza and ice cream. It might give you temporary satisfaction, but that will quickly fade when you regret making those decisions.

If you take care of yourself and spend time with those you love, it will be a great day.

Attitude

If you go into your day with a negative attitude, you’ll focus only on the negatives and the day will seem to take an eternity. People won’t enjoy talking with you and eventually will stop interacting with you if they don’t have to. But if you go into your day with a positive attitude, you are much more likely to have fun whatever you’re doing, the day will go quicker, and people will enjoy being around you. As a result, they’ll try to help you whenever they can because they want to see you succeed.

How do you improve your attitude? Start by smiling more. Smiling can instantly improve your mood (they even tell you to smile when you’re on the phone because it will lead to better results).

Next, stop taking yourself so seriously. Joke with others. Be able to laugh at yourself if you do something embarrassing. Choose to be happy with whatever you’re doing, including work. If you’re going to do something 40+ hours per week, would you rather enjoy your time there or hate it/count down the time until you get to leave? Just because you’re working on an important project doesn’t mean you can’t have fun doing it. In fact, you’ll probably do a better job and feel more life satisfaction if you’re having fun at work.

Keep everything in perspective. Most events are trivial over the span of our lifetimes. Don’t blow things out of proportion and make them bigger than they really are. So often it seems that we take the good things for granted and we over exaggerate the bad things. Stop doing that. Keep it in perspective.

Be generous and remember your manners. Performing random acts of kindness will make you feel better. Do something generous (whether it’s paying someone a compliment or paying for someone’s meal) and don’t expect anything in return. Also, say please and thank you frequently. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean that you should forget your manners.

Lastly, stop complaining. Anytime you catch yourself about to complain, try to reframe whatever negative thought you had and make it a positive one. For example, instead of saying, “It’s too hot outside,” say, “It’s so sunny today!” Both statements can be true, but if you focus on the positive statement, you’ll have a better attitude.

Mindset

Work on having a growth mindset, where you’re open to the possibility of changing and growing your abilities. Just because you can’t do something right now doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to do it. The only way that you know for sure that you won’t be able to do something is if you stop trying to improve yourself. The same can be said if you are already good at something. If you have a fixed mindset, you may think that you don’t have to try because you’ll always be good at that thing. But if you stop working at something because you feel your abilities are “fixed,” you will soon be surpassed by those who are working harder than you.

So how do you work on having a growth mindset? Understand that everyone has to start somewhere. Some people will naturally have more ability than others, but no matter where you start, you can always improve if you’re willing to make an effort. Realize that if you want to improve, you’re going to have to push the boundaries of your comfort and, as a result, you’ll fail often. Don’t be afraid of failure. Embrace it and use it as a stepping stone towards your eventual success. It can only truly be considered a failure if you quit afterwards. Otherwise it’s just more experience for you to learn from.

Love vs admiration

For someone to know you and love you is more impressive than getting the admiration of those who only know your public persona. Anyone can put on a show in public, being on their best behavior, and most people do. So when you to let someone into your life and they see the real you, with all of your imperfections, and still love you? That’s what really matters.

Don’t worry about popularity or fame (which are always fleeting), just treat people well and try to do the right thing as much as you can. By doing this, you can help win the love and respect from those who truly matter.