Author: cbarney.45

“Never mistake motion for action.” – Ernest Hemingway

Just because you’re busy, doesn’t mean that you’re working on the right things to move you towards your big picture goals.

Knocking off 10 trivial things from your “To Do” list might feel productive, but could you have spent your time better by completing one important task instead of 10 minuscule tasks?

Being efficient is not the same as being effective. Strive to be effective. Prioritize, eliminate, delegate, automate, and then focus on what really matters.

If you want to succeed, you need to be disciplined. This is true for any area in your life. If you want to be physically fit, you have to have the discipline to regularly work out and eat well. If you want to be financially free, you have to have the discipline to earn, save, and invest more than you spend. If you want to increase your knowledge, you have to have the discipline to read books or articles relevant to the topic on which you want more knowledge.

Most people say they want to get better in at least one of the areas listed above, but don’t have the discipline to reach their potential. Discipline is hard. It’s about doing things because you know that you need to do them, even if it’s not necessarily what you want to be doing.

If you let your impulsive, inner child make your daily decisions, you’re almost always going to choose instant satisfaction over delayed gratification. And while this may feel good in the moment, it is hurting your long term odds for success one decision at a time.

Know the difference between standards (actions based on your core values) and goals (results). You should always set challenging goals, but do not idolize these. Goals/milestones will eventually be hit if you have the right standards in place, with the right people in the right seats on the bus.

But if you only focus on the goal, like to become a millionaire or to get straight A’s, you’re focusing on the wrong thing. You’re focusing on a result, which you only have partial control over, and not on the standards to get you there, of which you have complete control. You get to decide what standards and processes you live by AND if you’re following them to get you the best result. Follow the process, and you’ll reach your goal.

What if you valued reaching the goal above all else? What if you decided that you would reach your goal at any cost possible? Would you steal money to get to millionaire status? Would you cheat your way to a 4.0 GPA? Would you lower your standards, ethics, or morals?

Having integrity and living by your core values is more important than achieving an arbitrary goal. Make sure you set measurable standards in addition to lofty, yet realistic “stretch” goals AND make sure that you understand what is truly important.

I think that everyone can deal with bouts of sadness or depression. Life has its ups and downs, both of which are meant to be shared with others.

A problem shared is a problem divided. Happiness shared is happiness multiplied…This is why it is so essential to have a support group around you – people that you can tell anything, people that won’t gossip, people who have your back. Whether you have a significant other, a best friend, a group of close friends, or anyone else, make sure that you are able to have open, honest conversations.

I realized this after my dad died. It was a terrible situation, but it could have been so much worse. I was lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people. My wife. My mom and sister. My friends. My co-workers. I’ve been so blessed and I never want to take that for granted.

Dealing with hardship builds your tolerance to the BS of everyday life. People’s favorite activity these days is complaining. But dealing with death puts life into perspective. You realize that the problem that you’re facing today probably won’t matter a year from now, let alone in ten years. When you encounter true hardship, it thickens your skin a little bit. It’s better face the trivial day-to-day stuff head on, to face the “little things” now, so that when true bad news does come (and eventually, it does for everyone), it might stiffen your resolve some.

We need to realize that every day isn’t going to be perfect. Hopefully you have more good days than bad, but your mindset and how you approach life can have a major impact on how you view each day. Try to look for the positive in any situation, and it will minimize your bad days. If you are feeling really depressed, make sure you reach out to someone and let them know how you’re feeling. Remember a problem shared is a problem divided. If you feel you don’t have anyone to turn to, call a hotline (I Googled this option here – https://www.crisistextline.org/depression).

Finally, remember, life is more than your current situation. Whatever you’re feeling is just that – a feeling. You have control over your thoughts. Think positive, self-affirming thoughts and remember that life is good.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” – Charles Darwin

Champions don’t get to where they are in spite of the adversity and hardships that they’ve faced. They become champions BECAUSE of the adversity they faced.

Most people want to take the easy path, avoiding obstacles at all costs. But the irony is that hardships (obstacles) will take us to where we need to be. If we never have to overcome difficulties, we won’t grow. Running towards the obstacle, and overcoming it, is the way to success.

Building a strong mind is instrumental to becoming successful. A strong mind is one that can endure hardships and overcome adversity over long stretches of time, one that is willing to make short term sacrifices for long term benefits, one that is always striving to improve.

Persist. Adapt. Grow. If you do this, and let go of your ego, you will not only survive, but you will thrive.