Author: cbarney.45

The best risk I’ve ever taken is asking my now wife for her phone number. It can be scary sometimes to put yourself in a position to be turned down or to “fail.” But the answer will always be “no” if you don’t ask. You may not always get what you want, but you’ll almost never get it if you don’t ask. If you’re not willing to take the chance to be rejected, you’ll always be wondering “what if?”…

After getting Allison’s phone number, we didn’t go out right away. In fact, she told me that she wasn’t ready to date anybody. That type of news can affect you. It can hurt you. But you can tuck your tail and walk away, or you can keep going.

When things don’t go your way, it’s decision time. You’re at a fork in the road…you can choose to go all in or pull back. Once again, it’s about taking risks. If you hedge your bets, trying to save face, you’re giving yourself an out. How can you expect to succeed if you don’t give it your all? But if you go all in and double down on your efforts, you will drastically improve your odds of success.

You have to weigh the potential costs and compare that to your benefits. Some risks are worth it. In my case above, the risk was being rejected, which could damage my ego. But the rewards could last a lifetime! It was definitely worth trying… 

Don’t be afraid to take risks. The rewards can be greater than you ever imagined.

The best leaders are the ones who make others around them want to work for the common goal of the team. They energize those around them…after leaving a meeting with this leader, others should be motivated to take action. 

The best leaders don’t lead through fear or intimidation. They lead through admiration. If those who are being led admire who they work for, they will work harder for them. 

The best leaders lead by example. They say and, more importantly, do the right things. They do not gossip and do not tolerate gossip from team members. 

The best leaders show accountability. They follow through and “walk the talk.” If they say they’re going to do something, they do it. 

They take ownership of things that don’t go according to plan. They do not point fingers. If they realize that they overpromised something that cannot be met, they admit it before the “due date,” explain why they may have stretched too far on their goal, and come back with a revised plan. 

The best leaders are humble and quick to point to others for the team’s success. They do not take all of the credit. They are one cog of a smoothly operating machine. 

Every action you make should be treated as its own, separate from all other actions/decisions that you’ve made leading up to it. Think of there being a reset button for every action that you take. This will help give you a clearer vision of what step you need to take next. 

Before acting, you need to think of the consequences of your actions. Will you be happy with those direct/indirect consequences? 

For example, if you’ve made a series of bad decisions on your diet one day, you can think one of two ways. You can either say, “Screw it. I’ve already eaten poorly today, I’m just going to continue to eat poorly and then I’ll start over tomorrow.” OR you can hit that reset button right now and say, “Wow. I really haven’t eaten well today. I need to refocus on what the end goal is (better health, better body, clearer thinking, etc) and then eat accordingly.” 

The above example is meant to illustrate that you can turn any choice around and you get to decide how you’re going to change your life. That’s not to say that you can’t/shouldn’t treat yourself from time to time, but you need to be cognizant of the trade offs when doing so. 

Learn to say no. You can’t say yes to everything. You’ll stretch yourself too thin. Choose what you spend your time on wisely, as time is your most valuable resource. You can’t be everything to everyone. 

You are unique, but you’re not special. What is happening to you has happened to others. You’re not the only one. This is for good and for bad. Just remember, you’re always better than how you think of yourself on your worst days and you’re worse than how you think you are on your best days. 

Keep a healthy attitude about who you are and what your situation is. Don’t make it more (or less) than it needs to be.

If something bad happens to you, keep your head up. Don’t wallow in self-pity. The past can hurt, but you have to learn from it and move on.

If something great happens to you, enjoy the moment. Savor it. But just know that you won’t always be riding high. There are peaks and valleys in life. Do what is necessary today to help build momentum for a better tomorrow.

Lastly, remember, it is not things that upset us, but our judgement about things…Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It is only our perception of it that makes it so.