Author: cbarney.45

“A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.” – Mahatma Gandhi

It takes bravery to show love, to give love, and to be vulnerable. If you are a “lone wolf,” if you are steely and hardened, you feel impervious because you think that you have no chinks in your armor. But this is a cold and lonely way of living life.

To display love, you have to open yourself up to your loved one(s). They will know the most intimate details of your life – things that you wouldn’t dream of telling others, and things that, if in the wrong hands, could be used to hurt you. But that is the risk you take when you’re in love, and it’s a risk that only the brave are willing to take. 

The most important first step to getting out of a hole is to stop digging. Stop shooting yourself in the foot. Get out of your own way. Start out with the easy wins. 

Some simple life tips:

• Move/workout everyday
• Read/listen to something for learning purposes everyday
• Brush your teeth and use mouthwash twice per day, floss once per day
• Eat real food and drink plenty of water; limit junk food or anything prepackaged
• Get enough sleep, but not too much
• Wear a seatbelt; don’t text and drive
• Don’t smoke or use tobacco products; don’t pay for an artificial tan; wear sunscreen and eye protection
• Spend time outside everyday
• If you don’t have money to buy it, you can’t afford it. Don’t put anything on credit card if you don’t have the money to immediately pay it off
• See the good in every situation and in every person…don’t walk around mad

Just by doing the above, you’re getting off to a great start. You need to build a strong foundation on which to build your future. It doesn’t matter if you make six figures per year if you spend everything you make, aren’t happy, and aren’t healthy. Build your foundation first then grow from there. 

“In war, steadiness and endurance are more important than any amount of strategic flair.” – War and Peace

I’d like to amend the above quote to “In life, consistency and perseverance are more important than get rich quick scheme(s).” 

Today, there are endless amounts of stories where people get rich for doing nothing. They make it seem so easy. Or there are options where you can lose weight just by taking a pill or wearing a belt that “melts the fat away” from your stomach. Never mind the fact that this isn’t how life actually works. There is no magic pill to give you a six-pack, just eating right and working out smart. The most time-tested way of getting rich quickly? Spend less than you make and invest the difference, also known as getting rich slowly.

But hard work over long periods of time doesn’t sound very appealing to most of us. We dream of winning the lottery and quitting our jobs, not staying with the same company for 25+ years. And with so many predators knowing our weakness, they advertise these “get rich quick” schemes to give us the easy way out. They appeal to our emotions, not our heads, because they know that people are emotional buyers. We don’t buy with logic, we buy with our heart and then try to convince our brain that what we just did was smart. It can be hard not to take the bait, to let our emotions take over. But don’t fall for benefits that the snake oil salesman is trying to sell you.

If you really want to win in life, you need to be consistent in your actions (steadiness) and then keep doing those actions or working towards your goals when things get tough (endurance). Don’t turn your attention toward the shiny object (strategic flair). You are seeing fools’ gold, not the real thing.

“Don’t try to be better than somebody else, but never cease trying to be the best you can be. You have control over that. The other you don’t.” – John Wooden

The quote above describes a mindset that we all should try to instill in ourselves. It is saying that we only have control over our own actions, and that we can only control how much effort we put into something. The result that comes from that effort usually reflects how hard you’ve worked, but not always.

Some people will be naturally good at things that you are not. But that doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t be comparing yourself to them. You should always look within. Did you try your best today?

This also works with how you project your expectations on others…one example is with parents and their children. Many parents are so focused on their children’s G.P.A. (a result) instead of their kid’s effort to honestly obtain good grades. When all parents care about is if little Johnny and Susie get an “A”, then that’s what Johnny and Susie will prioritize. The children won’t care how they get that grade, as long as they get it. This is why cheating is so prevalent in school. Instead of just trying your best and being happy with the result (in which you actually learn something), kids are willing to cheat their way to a potentially better (and easier) result even though they’re not actually learning anything.

With that in mind, make sure you are emphasizing what actions are actually important in life. Focus on the effort you give, and not the result that comes from it.

“Nobody has made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.” – Edmund Burke

When we’re new to something, we often are going to be inadequate. Even when we’re not new to something, sometimes it feels like no matter what we do, we can’t seem to make a difference. So most of us decide to do nothing, because it won’t matter anyways. But that’s the wrong attitude to have. 

It is always better to take action. Do your part. It doesn’t matter if it makes a difference to anyone else. What matters is that you did everything that you can to improve a situation, help an individual, help yourself…if everyone did the little things, it would add up to become something very big. Suddenly, you become part of something larger than yourself. And hopefully, it makes the world a better place.