If you are afraid, that probably means you should do it.
What are you afraid of? A difficult conversation? That’s probably going to happen regardless of whether you try to avoid it or not. And if it doesn’t happen, what are the odds that it actually works out in your favor? Instead, the opposite may be true and you have to live with the regret of not acting or of not saying something just because you didn’t want to feel uncomfortable in that moment.
You will gain more respect for yourself and others will have more respect for you if you face challenging moments head-on. If you are the type of person that always runs away when things get difficult, do you really think that will make you feel better about yourself?
Everyone has fears. But how we respond to those fears is what makes the man/woman. It takes courage to face your fears. Will you answer the call?
“If something needs to be done eventually, it needs to be done immediately.” – Jeremy Foley
Why wait? Why prolong the inevitable? If you know that something will need to be done at some point in the future, rip off the band-aid. Do it now and get it over with.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott
If you ever feel stressed out, burned out, or overwhelmed, take some time to just unplug. Sometimes we’re so used to being “on” that we just need a break. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s understanding that giving yourself the night off, or maybe even just a few minutes to yourself, will help you reset.
If it’s possible, take time to sit in silence, to take some deep breaths, to get away from technology and/or some of your ongoing duties. Most things won’t permanently break if you step away for a second. Almost everything is fixable and it will all be ok. The moment you stop putting so much pressure on yourself and give yourself permission to reboot, the less anxiety you’ll feel. Love yourself and forgive yourself enough to know that you’re not perfect (nobody is) and that you’re human and need to unplug from time to time.
“A man is what he thinks about all day long.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Protect your thoughts. If you let negativity seep in, you will become a negative person. Be conscious of your thoughts and if they are what you do NOT want to become, change your way of thinking.
Be humble and never think that you are better than anyone else.
It’s easy to think that you’re always right. You can justify why you thought what you thought, why you said what you said, or why you did what you did. You forgive yourself for the times you were wrong. You have excuses (or make excuses) to pardon yourself.
But what happens when other people make mistakes or if they’ve wronged you? Are you so quick to forgive them? Do you make rash judgments on their actions, even though you don’t comprehend their circumstances?
There are two quotes – both by very respected men – thathelp me be more humble when I’m put in these positions.
The first is from Abraham Lincoln. Supposedly, someone was speaking poorly of the southerners during the Civil War, to which Lincoln replied, “Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”
The other quote is from Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
Both of these quotes remind me to have humility. When I’m “up on my high horse,” I need a reminder of this sometimes. The person who has wronged me usually is not doing it consciously and maliciously, but they’re just reacting. Would I have responded in the same way if I were in their shoes?
If I can remember that I can be taught something by anybody, then I should know that, at least in that subject, they have superior knowledge than I do.
I may have certain beliefs, but who’s to say those are right or wrong? I may change beliefs 10 years, 10 months, 10 days, or 10 minutes from now. The goal should NOT be to prove that I am right, but just like having a hypothesis in science, it should be to test the hypothesis to see if it stands up against many challenges. I should be challenging my thinking and constantly be trying to prove it wrong. The more times it holds up, the closer I am to being correct. But because there are infinite opportunities to try to prove it wrong (and I can only test so many), I should be careful to claim that “this is the only way” and that I’m right. When people claim their way is the only way, when they slam other people’s ideas or don’t even entertain the ideas outside of mainstream thinking, their hubris begins to show.
