Author: cbarney.45

Courage

Have the courage to fail.

Have the courage to be rejected.

Have the courage to think outside of the box.

Courage is the mother virtue. All other virtues depend on you being courageous enough to take action when it is difficult. When you encounter fear, do you have the courage to face it? If your other virtues are put to the test, they won’t stand up unless you have enough courage to do so. Are you willing to tell the whole truth even when it might get you in trouble? Are you willing to show compassion to those who are looked down on in life? Can you keep your integrity and speak up for things on which you vehemently disagree, even in a room in which you’re the only one who feels that way? Those all require courage to be present.

Focus is the key to progress, not balance

“To make progress, you must be FOCUSED, NOT BALANCED.” ⁃ Robert Kiyosaki

You can make a little progress while loving a balanced life, but to make the biggest gains, you have to focus an inordinate amount of attention on one specific goal or task. When you focus on one thing, you’ll be amazed at the strides you can make.

There is no such thing as a perfectly balanced life. Our lives are more like waves in the ocean, going back and forth. Sometimes we have a big project with a deadline to meet, so we have to put our energy in that, while other times we have the ability to focus more on our family, our health, etc.

We can try to be perfectly balanced, but will most likely frustrate you as you aim for the impossible. Instead, spend time in great focus on one aspect of life while maintaining other aspects, then ebb and flow to the next major category.

Being bored is a good thing

We need silence for creativity. We need to be ok being bored. In today’s world, it is so easy to try to avoid being bored at all costs. Whether we are listening to the radio, a podcast, an audiobook, watching TV, playing video games, reading, hanging out with others, the list goes on and on. But sometimes we just need to be by ourselves and not have anything on to distract us. It’s during the quiet times that we will often come up with the best ideas.

Think about what is causing you the most trouble or pain. Now think of ways to minimize that pain, not by avoiding it, but by eliminating it. This will not only increase your happiness, but if it’s a common problem for many people, it could actually improve others’ lives too.

Slow down when reading

“To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting.” – Edmund Burke

I used to do exactly this. In my conquest for self-improvement, I tried to consume as much information as quickly as possible. Podcasts and audiobooks on 1.5x speed, trying to read as many physical books as I could within a given time period, watching YouTube videos relevant to my field of study, etc.

But what I unintentionally missed was that, if I didn’t slow down and contemplate on what I just read, I didn’t dig deep enough to truly understand the whole idea. I understood basic concepts and surface level ideas, but couldn’t clearly articulate them. If you want to master something, you have to know it inside and out. And if you’re only going for volume/high quantity, you’re missing out on the true knowledge (quality). Dig deeper to understand more. Question what you read, don’t take it at face value. Play devil’s advocate. What would someone who supports that idea say? What would someone who disagrees with that idea say? What evidence is there to verify this idea and was that evidence cherry-picked or is it an accurate reflection of the truth?

The point here is to not rush to check another book off of your reading list. Slow down. If you’re reading to learn, then do it right the first time. Take your time, read, reflect, question, answer, discuss, and continue reading.

Being the guide or going along for the ride

Understand when you’re supposed to be the guide/advisor and when you’re supposed to be someone going along for the ride.

If it’s the former, you need to take charge. Provide more input and make suggestions as the guide. You still don’t want to do everything for the other person (they want to be the hero of their own story), but with your help, they can get where they want to go.

If you’re just tagging along, read the situation and minimize your input. Here, the other person wants to be the primary decision-maker. Be there to support them and to listen to them, but don’t try to be the white knight and solve all of their problems. They want to feel listened to.