Author: cbarney.45

Building a business

when you are building a team, try to go from “I do it” to “we do it” to “they do it.” This is when you are a true business owner. Before that, you are merely self-employed.

“I Do It.” – At first, you probably will have to do everything. You’re the CEO, COO, CFO, Sales Manager, Salesman, Director of IT, and janitor.

“We Do It.” – Eventually, you’ll hire people to help you, delegating some responsibilities, but you will still be working in the business as well.

“They Do It.” – Finally, you need to get to the point where you can remove yourself from the business and it will still run.

If you have to be present for the business to run, you own a job. You don’t own a business yet.

Receiving feedback

Hearing feedback can be really tough. Oftentimes, it can take us by surprise and we get defensive about it. But we need feedback to grow. Usually, there is at least a kernel of truth in what the other person is telling us. Instead of automatically justifying why you did/said what you did, just listen. Refrain from responding until the person is done talking. But don’t do one of those, “mhmm…ok…” almost like a “hurry-up and get it over with” verbal prodding. Stay open (watch out for negative body language). Then, after the sting of hearing what you need to hear, repeat back to them (or rephrase what you heard). If you and that person are on the same page, that’s probably a good thing. Finally, take their feedback and use it to make you a better person. Even if you don’t fully agree with what they’ve said, try to make small tweaks or improvements. None of us are perfect, so we at least know that we can slightly improve.

Brene Brown’s 3 key phrases to remember when receiving feedback…

⁃ “I’m brave enough to listen.”

⁃ “There’s something valuable here. Take what works and leave the rest.”

⁃ “Feedback is the path to mastery.”

Freedom = Happiness

What most people really want (even if they don’t know it) is freedom. When you see a photo of someone standing by their brand new expensive car with their beautiful husband/wife, and the best attire, it’s not that you necessarily want that. You want the freedom that having that kind of money can buy. You want to be financially free! Freedom brings happiness. Whether it’s the freedom to choose what work you’re going to do or not do, where you want to live, or what your plans are for the day, you want to have the choice (power/freedom) to make that decision completely on your own, without any outside influence. You’ll soon find out that material possessions only buy fleeting happiness. You’ll be happy for a short period of time, but it will not last.

Speak up for things you care about, but let the rest go

Don’t get pulled into arguments or debates over things that don’t matter to you. Be prepared to lose some battles by biting your tongue when needed or by compromising on things you don’t feel strongly about so that you can “win” the things you do care about. If you nitpick every little thing, always trying to win every argument, your words will carry less weight when you actually need to “win” an argument about something you care deeply about.

If it doesn’t matter to you, or if you don’t have a strong opinion about something, don’t get worked up and bent out of shape when discussing it. Ask yourself how whatever it is you’re talking about actually affects you and your loved ones. If it doesn’t have any major repercussions, let the other person do what they want without you trying to force your advice on them.

On growing (and maintaining) relationships

You can avoid growing apart by focusing on growing together. This goes for any relationship – with your spouse, your kids, your parents, siblings, or friends. If you don’t do things with them, you will eventually lose touch. If you don’t keep in contact with them and reach out occasionally, you will be an afterthought to their current life. It’s not because you or the other person don’t like each other anymore, but growing and keeping a relationship strong takes work. If you don’t work at it, it will weaken over time.