Author: cbarney.45

Thoughts on finance, student loans, and taking ownership of your life

“Even today, what to study and how to study it are more important than where to study it and for how long. The best teachers are on the Internet. The best books are on the Internet. The best peers are on the Internet. The tools for learning are abundant. It’s the desire to learn that’s scarce.” – Naval Ravikandt

That’s the sad part about the student loan crises that we have going on right now. People are going into major debt (a debt that is not even forgiven if you declare bankruptcy) for an obsolete product. Many adults, including myself, graduated from school and do not get paid to do whatever they received their degree in. I feel fortunate to have had some help along the way and be out of debt (I received a small amount of scholarship money – for working hard and applying, $10,000 was given to me to use for school, my aunt and parents would help with groceries when they could, and I worked between 25-30 hours per week the last three years of school. I also worked about 15-20 hours per week during my freshman year when the university recommended NOT to work at all that first year. Finally, I worked 40+ hours per week every summer and after graduating school, I worked about 65 hours per week with three jobs for the first six months to pay off any remaining debt). But many people choose not to work when they’re at school. Or they choose a school for prestige and do not care about the cost. If that’s the case, they have to accept responsibility for their debts. Yes, our country has a problem that we need to fix regarding the cost of schooling. But it does not owe anything to us. And if we can’t change what Congress is doing (if they’re not going to help), then we shouldn’t just throw up our hands and say “well, that’s just the way it is. Everyone has student loans, car loans, a mortgage on their home, and credit card debt. I guess I will too.” No. You should do what you can to avoid that. Apply for scholarships every day. Work your butt off. Go to a community college first then transfer to the in-state university/college of your choice that you can afford. Of course, you will be working the whole time and saving more than you earn. When it’s time to buy a house, don’t listen to the loan officer and get the most expensive house “you can afford.” You’ll be house-poor and end up taking an eternity to pay off your mortgage. Don’t burn through cash and live paycheck-to-paycheck. Trust me, you will be much happier when you’re not worried about bouncing a check or how you can afford your next meal.

4 requirements to have a great relationship with your significant other

1. Show them that you want to be with them. Be interested in their stories. Pay them sincere compliments. Make them feel good about themselves and make them feel desired. Ask yourself, are most of your interactions with them positive, negative, or neutral (the silent killer)?

2. Show them appreciation. When they help you, make sure you point out the specifics about how their actions have made your life easier or improved your life in some way. Never forget to thank them and do not take their helpfulness or thoughtfulness for granted. Ask yourself, when was the last time you thanked them for doing something “expected?” Do you still thank them for picking up the groceries, folding the laundry, or taking out the trash? Yes, those things need to be done. But maybe you should be the one to do those things (or, at the very least, say thank you when they get done).

3. Show them respect. Never get into a name-calling argument. Even if you disagree with their opinion or action, approach them with respect. Don’t roll your eyes, make snarky remarks, or make audible sounds (like sighing) to express your disapproval. Avoid being passive aggressive and instead be respectfully upfront with them. Have you noticed yourself doing any of these things? Stop it. And if you do catch yourself doing it, apologize right then and there.

4. Show them love. You can want to hang out with someone, but not love them. You can appreciate what they do for you, but not love them. You can respect someone, but not love them. Even though your significant other should be a treasured friend, don’t lump them into the “friend zone” with everyone else. Show them love and speak their love language. When was the last time you showed your significant other affection? When was the last time you hugged them, kissed them, or…(you get it)? Maybe their love language isn’t physical touch. You could try other things like getting them a gift “just because” or writing them a note each morning. Try different things, but always show your love for them and your relationship stands a good chance of not only surviving, but thriving.

Clarity through simplification

Simplify to clarify.

If you can answer a question completely in 7 words, don’t use 8. If you can use the most simple language that even a child can understand, don’t use fancy words to possibly confuse others. If you do so, you’re doing so out of your own ego. You’re signaling to others “how smart you are.” Because if you were truly smart, you would not feel the need to prove it to others. Instead, your main focus would be to pass along information as clearly and concisely as possible, so that everyone listening understands and can put it into practice.

Three underrated skills that everyone should learn

1. Sales.

Whether you like it or not, you’re involved in a sales pitch every day. In addition to trying to be sold by retailers, you’re also being sold/selling what you should eat for dinner, what movie you’re going to watch, what your plans should be for this weekend, etc. If you get good at selling, you’ll get what you want more often than not in life. The key is to not make it sound like a sales pitch. People like to buy. They get excited about buying. But they hate being sold.

2. Storytelling.

Good storytelling can capture imaginations, paint vivid pictures, express ideas that can’t be conveyed otherwise, and win people over. If you are a good storyteller, you’ll naturally draw people’s attention and they will be more likely to enjoy your company.

3. Carpentry.

To be a good carpenter, you generally have to have good forethought to see what repercussions there are for what you are about to do. It requires hands on skill. And, there is usually more math involved than most people think. Doing work with your hands accesses a different part of your brain than reading, writing, or listening, and is essential to becoming as well-rounded as possible.

Five attributes of a great leader

1. Courage. What leader has been great without also showing extreme courage? George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr…none of them were perfect (nobody is). But what separates them even from other great leaders is their ability to choose to be courageous when it would be easier to lay down. To be courageous, you must first have a clear understanding of what your core values are and stick to them. When times get tough, you will have a decision to make. Do you stay true to what you say your values are? Or do you let the easier choice make your decision?

2. Confidence. To be a leader, you must display confidence. This is not to say that you will always be confident in your decisions. Nobody knows what the future holds or how your decisions will work out. But, you must not let the unknowns paralyze you from making a decision. Instead, take a reasonable time to do your due diligence – research what experts are saying, ask those whom you respect of their opinions, and inject your own common sense into the equation – then act on it! Be decisive and show confidence in your decision. If you’re not confident in yourself, how can you expect others to have confidence in you? Who wants to follow a leader who is meek and not confident in their actions?

It’s easy to look back and say, “I should have done this or that instead.” But the fact of the matter is, you have to make a decision which you feel is best with the information you have at that time. Once you get new information, you can make a different decision. But don’t beat yourself up for not knowing what was unknowable at the time. You will never have all of the answers, so don’t wait to act until you have them. Perfection is the enemy of progress. Done is better than perfect. Be confident and unapologetic in your decisions.

3. Poise. Leaders are poised. They are calm under pressure. They don’t panic. They don’t lose their cool. They do not point fingers or play the blame game. When things get tough, they buckle down. They figure out what the real issue is (not just attacking the surface problem, only for another related problem to pop up…they go deeper to try to get to the root cause and eliminate it). They figure out who needs to do what and when it needs to be completed. They can explain the importance of why it needs to be done and delegate it to others to complete. They might give guidance on how to accomplish it, but they don’t micromanage. Micromanaging kills autonomy and sabotages morale. Leaders understand that people want direction, but they want the freedom to do it their own way. Giving someone that freedom shows you respect them and believe in them enough to get the job done on their own terms.

4. Abundance mindset. Leaders have an abundance mindset, not a scarcity mindset. Instead of looking at others who are successful and being jealous of them, they see them and try to figure how they can emulate and expand upon their successes. Competition leads to innovation.

5. Discipline. Leaders are disciplined and gritty. They understand that in order to consistently produce the results they want, they have to put in focused effort day-in and day-out. True success – success that lasts – requires more than a “one and done” kind of approach. You can’t expect to be great if you never practice. You have to continuously work to be better, to become more efficient, to look for new ways of solving problems. When you don’t feel like doing something important, do it anyways. Find your discipline muscle and use it. And when things don’t go your way, be gritty enough to keep at it. You can allow yourself to be temporarily discouraged, but use that as fuel to overcome the obstacles you’re facing.