Don’t make excuses. Don’t catch yourself complaining to others or to yourself. You may get sympathy from others when you complain, but wouldn’t you rather have their respect? You’ll never gain somebody’s respect by complaining. Deal with the situation and move on. Don’t be the victim.
Author: cbarney.45
Let your body lead (how to artificially produce confidence)
Act confidently to think confidently. This then feeds itself and turns into a never-ending cycle. It’s like the old adage says… Fake it until you make it.
It’s amazing what your body can trick your mind into believing. You can know what you’re talking about, but if you act meek or shy, if you don’t keep good posture, a smile on your face, or walk tall, if you have a limp handshake and don’t look people in the eyes, you’re not inspiring confidence in yourself. People around you see it and you feel it. It’s tough to get out of that cycle. People will be less likely trust you with big decisions, and if you run into the wrong people, they’ll look to take advantage of your lack of confidence.
Meanwhile, if you act confidently, speaking with purpose (loud, but not too loud; crisp; relatively quickly, but not too fast; with energy and enthusiasm, but not so much as to annoy the other person listening), keep your head up, your shoulders pulled back, look people in the eyes, you dress the part, and you genuinely sound like an expert, you’ll see much more success. People will be drawn to you.
Bottom line: act how you want to feel. Your body will lead the way.
Bitterness and holding grudges
Never wish ill will on anybody. Don’t hold grudges. Be positive. If someone wronged you in years past, forgive them. Wishing them unhappiness means that you still have bitterness in your heart. Let it go. You will be happier for it.
Reading vs experiencing
Reading about something is not the same as experiencing it. A lot can be learned from reading, so this is not trying to discredit reading at all. But being a part of something/experiencing it is completely different than looking at it from the outside-in.
For example, I can read about D-Day, but I will never know what a soldier experienced during that battle. Or I can read about Yellowstone National Park is, but I can only imagine what it’s like to see it in person.
Read often and read broadly. It’s nice to have a good knowledge base of many subjects. But be humble enough to know that just because you’ve read about something doesn’t mean that you truly understand it. Go experience things as often as you can. When it comes to trying something new or going somewhere you’ve never been before, say yes. Because there is no substitute for experience.
Maturity is doing what is best for you, not necessarily what feels good
Prioritize what is important to you. Every decision you make has short-term and long-term consequences. Most of the time, if you can do what’s best for the long-term, you will eventually win. Sometimes that means delaying gratification (not doing what is fun/feels good right now). Dave Ramsey calls that maturity.