Author: cbarney.45

Attributes

Below is a list of attributes I want for myself and to instill in my children:

Perseverance, optimistic, not easily discouraged/embarrassed, not afraid of failing, mentally and physically tough, setting a goal and working towards it, ok with asking questions, hungry to learn, love competition, focused on the most important next action steps, forward thinking, not procrastinating, curious, willing and able to give effort every day, love and enthusiasm for life, understand big picture concepts, think outside the box, grateful, happy, kind to others

And this is a list I want to avoid:

Complainer, negative, judgmental, rude, entitled, lazy, can’t think for yourself, not willing to try/learn new things

I’m sure there are more items I can add to both lists, but this is the general gist of what I strive for everyday. The other key is to surround yourself with people who share similar values. You become the average of the people you hang out with most. Don’t let it be someone who only brings negative drama to your life.

Your house and the White House

What happens in your house is more important than what happens in the White House.
“What happens in your house is more important than what happens in the White House.” – Barbara Bush

Whether you feel happy, sad, neutral, or mad with the election results of the 2020 Presidential race, remember one thing. What happens in your house is more important than what happens in the White House.

The President, no matter which party he/she is affiliated with, will not save you, nor will he/she ruin you. You control your own fate. The decisions you make will have the greatest influence on how your life turns out. Why would you give that power to anyone else? Take ownership of what happens for you – good or bad.

If you like the results you’re getting, then continue doing what you’ve been doing. If you don’t like the results you’ve seen so far, change what you’re doing. And if you’re really unhappy? Just know that you’re going to have to work your tail off to get to where you want to go. Nothing matters as much as determination, grit, perseverance, and having a positive attitude. All of those things won’t always be easy, but if they were, everyone would do it.

I don’t have time…

Saying “I don’t have time” is just another way of saying “it’s not a priority.”

Whatever you’re talking about that you “don’t have enough time for” is not important enough yet, otherwise you would make time for it. A lot of people say that they “want” something (a better body, a healthier mindset, to start a business, write a book, etc.), but they don’t invest the time and effort to do what is necessary to achieve what they want. You may wish that you have those things/you’ve done those things, but you don’t want it badly enough to actually go do it.

“If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.”

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn

Embrace your unique self

Don’t be afraid to be “weird.” We’re all weird in some ways – some more than others, but that’s good! The worst thing you can be is like everyone else. How boring would it be if you never had an original thought of your own? How terrible would it feel to not be able to express your true self?

You may think you’re weird, but guess what? We all are. Your true friends will accept you for who you are.

My biggest fear…is it really what I think?

Many people fear failing, and I know it is one of my biggest fears as well. That’s what I’ve always told myself before, anyways. But after thinking about it more, am I afraid of actually failing or am I afraid of looking like a failure to others? There is a difference…

When you actually fear failing, you’ll often get stuck in “paralysis by analysis” mode, where you procrastinate taking any action for fear that the action you take is the wrong one. The irony is that this fear to fail often keeps you from even trying to get what you want. But if you don’t try it, you guarantee you won’t get it. In that sense, you have ensured failure, just not publicly.

So is it really failure you’re afraid of or is it the perception of failing? Sometimes you are held back from doing something or saying something because you think others will look down on you. Are you ok with asking questions and letting other know that you are not processing the information they’ve given to you? Are you ok with trying something new, with no guarantees of succeeding, if you think others will judge you for it? That’s the difference between being afraid to fail versus being afraid to look like a failure.

Next time you find that you aren’t pursuing a goal or a passion, ask yourself this…What is more important – what other people think of you (when they see you try and fail) or what you think of yourself (never publicly trying something/never “failing” in front of others, but ask never achieving your actual goal)?