Your guide to a healthier perspective of life
Do hard things daily. Challenge your body by working out. Challenge your mind by reading and writing. Challenge your beliefs by being receptive to ideas from others who don’t have the same opinions as you. Take on that difficult project at work. Say no to eating out today and make something from a new recipe instead.
Experience voluntary hardship. It makes actual hardships easier and it puts life into perspective. Life is good. We just fail to properly appreciate it.
Albert Einstein has been attributed with saying, “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” I don’t know the context in which he was speaking, but that’s almost irrelevant, as the statement applies to nearly every situation.
Whenever you encounter difficulties/challenges/obstacles/hardships, whenever you are frustrated by something, there is an opportunity for you to improve yourself or to improve the situation. It’s like when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. Sure, most people aren’t at rock bottom, so the situation could possibly get worse as well, but if you are cognizant of your surroundings, your mindset, and the actions you are taking (or not taking), you can usually find a way to make things better.
Another way to think of it (especially when it comes to frustration at work) is that if it was easy to correct, everyone would do it and the solution would be devalued. Your worth to an employer would decrease, because if they could pay a teenage kid with no education in that specific field to do it at a cheaper cost, they would. Or if the data could be plugged into an algorithm and a robot could use artificial intelligence to solve the problem, you would be out of a job. So, the next time you get irritated by your work not going as smoothly as you want, follow these simple steps…
First, try to figure out what went wrong then stop doing that. Where did things go south? Was it something within your control? Then do something different. Was it something someone else did? See if you can walk alongside them and work through the issue with them so it doesn’t happen again.
Second, develop systems/standard operating procedures so next time a situation like that occurs, there is a manual for you (or someone on your team) to refer to without wasting too much brain power. Tweak this as you get more information and follow the results.
Third, be thankful that your work can be challenging. Humans need to overcome challenges to feel satisfied. If it wasn’t challenging and you were bored out of your mind every day, you would eventually hate your job. And remember, if your job doesn’t require skill, you are expendable to the next cheapest laborer.
To summarize, use challenges as a learning experience of how to NOT do something, or if it causes enough pain/frustration to you and others, then work to capitalize on that by creating a better answer. Solve the problem to not only help yourself, but to help others too. The more people you help, the more you will be compensated. (This is what Matthew McConaughey recently discussed on The Tim Ferriss Show and The Joe Rogan Experience, referring to it as the egotistical utilitarian…Why shouldn’t you aim to do something that gets you what you want, but also helps others? That’s a win-win scenario.)
Understand the difference between compassion and coddling. You can be compassionate but still stern. You don’t have to be rude, but you do have to tell the truth…even when it’s easier to tell a “white lie.” Being truthful is compassionate – telling someone what they need to hear even if they don’t want to hear it. Some people say it’s tough love, but really, it’s just love.
We all face obstacles in our lives, but how we choose to view them is the first step to overcoming them. Do you see this obstacle as your next challenge? Is it something else for you to defeat? Will this add to your life story (where you play the hero/victor)? Or is it more adversity happening to you. Do you let it get you down? (Are you playing the victim card?)
Everyone faces challenges in life. That’s just the way it is. And some people have the cards stacked against them way more than others. It’s not fair, but it is what it is. You have two choices. You can fight to overcome these challenges or you can be the victim and let them overcome you. Either way, the circumstances leading up to your decisions are the same. But the outcome can (and will) be very different.
You don’t have to ignore what has happened or is happening to you. That would be silly. But you don’t have to feed into the negativity either. Figure out how to make it better. Once you have a plan, follow through and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just don’t confuse asking someone to help you with asking for a handout…you need to bring forth effort to get yourself out of the hole you’re in, regardless of how you got there.
We all should practice the art of waiting more. We have become so used to this “microwave world,” where we can have nearly anything we want instantaneously.
Don’t want to sit through commercials? Hit skip ads on YouTube.
Can’t find anything good on tv? Go to your favorite streaming service.
Bored? Scroll mindlessly on social media.
The list goes on and on. It’s even that easy to buy something we want. Don’t get me wrong, I love Amazon because it’s so convenient, but that’s their business model (and they’re very good at it). They make it so convenient that you don’t think twice about buying an item you literally just discovered.
But we would be better served in the long run if we waited to get that “thing.” Try waiting for 48 hours before you buy it. Would you still want it? If you think you still want it, go to the store to buy it. Is it worth the inconvenience of you getting your shoes on, driving into town, waiting in line, and then paying for it? And what if you only allowed yourself to pay in cash? That way, if you don’t have the money right then and there (both in your bank account and physically, in your hand), you can’t buy it on credit. It feels different when you hand over some money and get less in return (as opposed to handing plastic over and getting the same piece of plastic returned to you). Psychologically, it feels more painful, even though you’re paying the same amount for the same item. While I like to optimize every aspect of my life (working on efficiency and convenience), it is important to remember we should focus on effectiveness over efficiency. Just because something is easy doesn’t make it better…
And if you can teach yourself to not always get what you want, when you want it, you will be better off in the long run. Better off financially (not spending money), mentally (building up a resiliency so when things don’t go your way, you’ll be able to cope better), and possibly better off spiritually (giving you more time/money to focus on loved ones and the environment around you, instead of focusing on material objects to eventually go in the trash).
So, how long can you wait before you get that next “must have” item? Don’t let lifestyle creep take over. Don’t let your inner child take over (“I need this toy now!”)…Practice patience. Practice waiting. Practice being fiscally responsible. You will be better off for it.