Author: cbarney.45

Start off on the right foot

If you ask someone questions, ask out of curiosity, not out of judgment. They will be much more open/receptive to honestly answering your question AND potentially working on a solution with you if you are asking in a way where it isn’t questioning their decision-making skills.

If you come off as judgmental, the other person will shut down and become defensive (this is the reason I avoid phrasing a question as “why did you do that this way?”). Instead, try to ask open-ended questions and start off on the right foot.

What is your why?

If you start something, take a moment to ask yourself why you’re doing that. Are you doing it for your own personal satisfaction? For a better life for your family? For money, recognition, or ego? You should always have a why. No why is wrong, but the stronger your why, the more willing you’ll be to work for whatever it is you’re doing. If you have a weak why, you’ll give up at the first sign of struggle.

Teamwork vs the lone wolf

“You can go fast by yourself, but you can go far with a team.”

You can make decisions very quickly if you’re not relying on anyone else to engage in dialogue with/have healthy debate. BUT, having a team, even though it may temporarily slow you down, will allow you to go farther (as a company) and achieve bigger goals. Having a team allows you to see your blind spots, to think of new ways to approaching problems, to delegate, to systemize, and to work ON your business instead of IN your business. Plus, who wants to be the lone wolf? I’m introverted, but even I enjoy collaborating with others (sometimes).

Trust bank

Judge a person based on their actions, not their words. People can say whatever they want, and often say what they think you want to hear. Don’t have “happy ears” and take them at their word unless they have a proven track record of following through to do what they say. Make them earn that trust first. They have to build up that “trust bank account.” Every time they keep their word or do something honorable/commendable, they are making a deposit into their trust bank account. If they start to be dishonest, untrustworthy, or make questionable moral decisions, they are making withdrawals. If they make too many withdrawals and not enough deposits, they will go bankrupt with your trust bank.

The simplicity of friendship

“The most that I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.” – Henry David Thoreau

You have no obligations to do x, y, or z to be considered a good friend. And your friend, if they are truly your friend, should not place unrealistic expectations on you, make you fulfill certain requirements, or check certain boxes to be considered a friend. Work on being supportive, on checking in with them on occasion, and on being happy for them if they are happy or helping them when they need help. It’s that simple.