Author: cbarney.45

Being a boss? Or being a leader

Gary Vaynerchuk’s illustration of the difference between being a “boss” and being a leader. ​
Gary Vaynerchuk’s illustration of the difference between being a “boss” and being a leader.

You can be a natural leader, where you inspire others to do their best and help the team reach its goals, without being in a leadership position. You can lead with quiet confidence or be outgoing. There are many styles of leadership, and some styles work better depending on the circumstances. For example, you can have a great wartime leader, but in times of peace, that person’s words or actions may not resonate with those whom they are leading. Or you can have a terrific peacetime leader, but when times get tough, their voices may be too soft to motivate others to believe in the cause.

Regardless of the type of leader you are (or you follow), the best leaders typically find ways to help you grow. They don’t do the work for you, but they help by asking you the right questions and letting you find your way.

Bosses, on the other hand, can be leaders or they can be tyrants. Bosses can still get things done over threat of power or anger, but they don’t win any loyalty from their subordinates. In fact, instead of people going above and beyond, they will often only do the bare minimum for a boss. Other than the intrinsically motivated optimist, why should anyone bust their butt for someone who is always the first to blame others when things go wrong, who takes credit when things go right, and who doesn’t treat their employees with respect?

If you are fortunate enough to be promoted, make sure you work to be the best leader you can be and don’t just be another “boss.”

Pride vs ego

Don’t confuse pride with ego. They are very similar in many respects, but the difference is pride is used in a way to make you perform better, whereas ego is often something that hinders performance.

For example, with pride you hold certain standards for yourself and you want to live up to them. What you have accomplished or overcome in the past is a result of a mixture of work ethic, attitude, specific intelligence, talent, and luck. It is a non-malicious, self-centered vantage point. You take pride in doing things a certain way because others can expect good results when they come to you. If you are on a team and others do not have the same values are you, it can leave you frustrated because you feel your name (and the results that come with it) may be tarnished if you don’t live up to the hype. Pride can get in your way, but for the most part it is good to have a sense of pride in what you do and how you do it.

With ego, you are more concerned with your reputation than you care about what you do or how you do it. You view yourself as someone of importance and feel a sense of deserved respect. When ego gets in the way, it’s because you believe yourself and your opinions matter more than others – everything you do is right and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong. Instead of being able to take criticism or compromise on issues, ego can cause you to dig deeper and take a stand. Ego doesn’t let you see the other person’s point of view.

Don’t let ego get in your way. If you disagree with someone, try to detach from the situation and understand where they are coming from. Why are they acting the way they are? Even if you end up disagreeing after you’ve heard them out, take the time to really listen to them, to make them feel understood, and talk with them. Don’t yell at them, try to silence/intimidate them, or wait for your turn to make a point/talk at them. The world needs to calm down. The more compassionate we are, the better off we will be.

(P.S. Compassion doesn’t mean “giving in” to an opposing viewpoint…listening is compassionate. And if you still disagree, disagree respectfully and treat them how you would want to be treated.)

The importance of a “glue” guy

When you’re doing anything in a team environment, it’s easy to become enamored with the superstars or the moneymakers. But not everyone can (or should be) a superstar.

We all have different strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and personality traits which are better-suited for different roles. It’s always nice to have a go-to person to get the job done and it’s easier to see their value to the team. But what often gets overlooked is the glue guy.

The glue guy is the person who doesn’t need the ball to make a difference in the game. They can provide energy, help shape team culture, do the dirty work/work that nobody else wants to do, and provide many of the intangibles. They allow the team to function at peak performance because they compliment the superstars. If everyone needed the ball on offense and nobody was willing to put forth the effort on defense, you might end up with a good team, but not a championship-level team.

Don’t forget about the glue guy. Compensate them well or risk losing them. Chances are, you won’t know how important they are until they’re gone…

Staying grounded while dreaming big

“Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.” Theodore Roosevelt
“Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.” Theodore Roosevelt

Be a dreamer. Set lofty goals. But no matter what the outcome, stay grounded. Remember your roots – where you came from and who your true friends are.

As you gain success, popularity, and prestige, people will treat you differently. It will feel good. But just like there are bandwagon fans for sports teams, there are people that will jump to support you when everything is going well and run away/speak negatively of you when things are going poorly.

No matter where you are in life, always treat people with respect and never compromise your values.