View feedback as a shortcut to success. If you only see feedback as criticism and shut down, you will limit your growth potential. If someone is being honest with you and helping you realize what needs to be improved upon, use that to your advantage. Either way the information is still there and it is still true. You can choose to ignore it and continue to be substandard at whatever it is they mentioned, or you can do something about it. This will also reinforce others to continue to give you feedback. It may not always feel the best, but you will always know where you stand.
Author: cbarney.45
Equality of opportunity, not outcome
We need to be careful not to confuse equality of opportunity with equality of outcome. What I mean by this is that everyone should be able to “play the game” if they want to, but not everyone should “win” an award just for playing.
Systems that give everyone a reward so their feelings don’t get hurt is not helpful in the long run. Sure, it saves people from temporary heartache, but it also makes us less resilient and, ultimately, less capable of overcoming obstacles. Not only that, but it can diminish a true sense of accomplishment. For example: If you come in 8th place in a race, or if your team loses a competition, you know in your heart that you didn’t earn a trophy. So if a trophy is given to you, the trophy is devalued to yourself and to those who finished in front of you.
Make sure to work to build your resilience everyday. Do something difficult. Lose occasionally – not on purpose, but because you’re challenging a worthy opponent. Realize that failure is inevitable, but it doesn’t mean that it is final. Fight for equality of opportunity, but don’t accept equality of outcome (even if you are the beneficiary).
Growing and learning
How do we grow or learn? By consuming (taking information in from others), by doing (performing a task ourselves), and by teaching (helping others learn). Try to practice all three as often as you can.
Be you and let others be them…
March to the beat of your own drum. Don’t just do you things because you think that’s what someone your age should be doing or how they should be acting. Be your authentic self and don’t get mad at others for being their authentic selves, even if their thoughts/actions doesn’t align with what you believe in.
Remember that most people are good people, but they have had different experiences that help shape their thoughts. They want what’s best for themselves and their community and they probably have different ideas from you as to how to get there. Withhold judgment of others and focus on being the best, most forgiving version of yourself.
Training like a professional
If you only work on something when you’re motivated, you’ll never achieve outstanding results. That’s what separates professionals from amateurs. Professionals deliberately practice their craft daily. They make sure that they eat, sleep, and train for optimum performance. They’ll break down film/recordings to see where they are weak or where there is an opportunity due to an opponent’s weakness, then they try to improve or exploit that weakness.
To become truly great at something, you have to practice…a lot. You can’t just do something once and then expect to become an expert. It takes studying and experience. But if you depend solely on your motivation to do the necessary work, you will never become truly elite in your field. Motivation comes and goes. You can have it for stretches, but when things start becoming difficult, motivation is often the first thing to go.
Muhammad Ali is quoted as saying, “I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” He knew the importance of training – of doing what he didn’t want to do so he could get to the next level. Often, it is what we are willing to do that others aren’t that being us success. Are you willing to sacrifice in the short term to get the long term results you want?
So the questions are: what do you need to be doing to bring you the success you desire? Are you deliberately training, living purposefully, and working as hard as you can? Or are you relying on motivation to get you by? Take some time today to think about your goals and figure out what you need to be doing habitually to get you there.