How do you become grittier? By following through with what you start in every area of life. Being gritty helps you become more gritty. Embrace challenge. Follow through! Don’t quit in the middle of something. If you decide to quit, that’s fine. But make sure that you do so at a natural stopping point (like the end of a season).
Author: cbarney.45
Habits determine excellence
Habits can be good or they can be bad. Are you using them to improve yourself? Or are you gradually (or rapidly) on the decline? The truth is, we become what our habits are. They mold us into who we will become. This is why we need to be mindful of what habits we already have and which ones we would like to develop.
So how do we know what habits to develop? And how do we go about making them “stick?”
First, separate your life into categories and ask yourself what goals you have in each of those categories. Without having a goal in mind, we lack direction. We need to know what we want to accomplish before we can decide what habits to create/grow.
After you have a goal for each category, reverse engineer what stepping stones/milestones you will need to hit to achieve those goals. Now, we have our large, overarching goal AND, just as important, several small goals to help us get there.
The next step would be to do a little research. Figure out if anyone has already achieved the goal we’ve set for ourselves (why recreate the wheel if we don’t have to?). If so, is there a way you can connect with them to see what they have done to achieve success in their field? Is there a book or interview where they’ve shared their best practices? Is there a way you can talk with them in person or on the phone? If they are gracious enough to give you time/help you out, conduct your research beforehand so you are not asking about something they’ve already answered. When talking with them, can you figure out what daily habits they have and do you feel that those habits may have contributed to their success? Is this something you could emulate (answer: yes)?
After you’ve thought about what your goals are and researched how to get there, you need to implement what you’ve learned. But it will work best if reframe it in a way that motivates you (be excited!). For example, you need to start small – probably smaller than you think. The point of starting small is to make it so easy that you won’t procrastinate the process of starting.
Lastly, in addition to starting small, you should tie your new habit to something that you’re already doing. James Clear calls this “habit stacking.” If you already have one habit in place, and you can add a related habit to it, it will be much easier to maintain, as you already have a cue that reminds you to perform the new habit.
So, what are you waiting for? Our habits today shape our results tomorrow. We must always be wondering if the actions we’re taking will be to our future benefit or future detriment (to our relationships, our happiness, our health, or our bank accounts).
Keep your eyes on the goal
“Obstacles are the things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.” – E. Joseph Cossman
When you’re excited, motivated, and focused on your goals, it’s easy to not let anything get in your way. But when you stop focusing on your WHY and start looking at bad things that are happening TO you (instead of FOR you), it’s easy to become discouraged.
The best way to remain focused on a goal is to write it down and look at it/think about it daily. If it is constantly in front of you, it will be harder to focus on anything else.
The next thing you should do is change your mindset to that of a victor, not a victim. Things don’t always go your way – there will always be obstacles. That’s what happens in life. But if you think of yourself as the hero of your own story, overcoming obstacles will just be the next part of the story – plus, it makes it more interesting! Think of how boring Harry Potter would have been if he didn’t have to defeat Voldemort, think of Frodo in the Lord of the Rings without having to overcome Sauron, or of the Rebel Alliance (good guys) without trying to overthrow the Galactic Empire in Star Wars. Without the possibility of defeat, it makes movies/books/life less interesting.
Lastly, practice gratitude to reframe your outlook when obstacles inevitably arise. There are always people out there less fortunate than you. You are capable of coming back stronger after defeat, of getting up after you get knocked down, and for that, you should be grateful. Practice being grateful and nothing can keep you down for long.
Systems and processes
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” – James Clear
It doesn’t matter how lofty your goals are if you don’t have systems in place to ensure you reach those goals. The goal gives you a direction to aim, which is a good start, but it does not get you to the finish line. After all, you need to know what you want to accomplish and where you want to go in order to take the right actions to get there. But knowing where you want to go is only part of the equation. It won’t actually get you there without putting together an action plan and then executing that plan. (Knowing and doing are different parts of the process, but both are necessary.)
Make sure that you have systems in place that move you forward every day. Figure out what the next most important action step is and work towards completing it. Once you accomplish that, figure out the next most important action step and repeat the process.
On your way to completing each step, beware of taking actions that can derail or sidetrack you. You want to move toward your goal in as straight of a line as possible, not winding/meandering your way there. Stay laser focused and do not let the shiny objects distract you.
Making adjustments
Anything that is important to you should be prepared for. Go into a situation/game with a plan of what you’ll do and say, how you might respond, etc. But if things aren’t going your way, do not be so rigid in your plans that you can’t make adjustments.
You should be cognizant of if something isn’t working because it takes time and maybe the ball just didn’t bounce your way at first OR maybe you just had the wrong plan going into the game. Be willing to accept either answer, but be honest with yourself as to why things may not be going your way. Be ok with setting your ego aside, admitting that your plan was wrong, and changing accordingly. Don’t double down on a bad decision.