Category: business

Ask yourself these two questions when goal-setting

When you’re developing your goals, you should be clear on why you want to achieve these goals. You should also follow the S.M.A.R.T. acronym (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-based). But after all that, you should ask yourself these two questions:

If not me, then who? If not now, then when?

Your goals are not going to be achieved if you’re not taking action to make them happen. If you don’t make that phone call, talk with that person, let others know about “x,” wake up early to go workout or read or master your craft, etc. who is going to do it for you? If you’re not going to do them right now, when will you prioritize them? Don’t keep procrastinating. If your goals are truly important, you’ll find the time or make the time to do the activities (to follow the process goals) that help you get the results you want.

Mastering yourself

“The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself.” – Plato

If you can’t control your emotions, acting on impulse, or “forcing” yourself to do what you know needs to be done, you are already at a disadvantage.

So many people worry about persuading others to do what they want, or to somehow influence their decisions, but don’t take into consideration the fact that if they are able to conquer themselves, they will be much better off.

Practice discipline. Practice self-control. Practice mastering your thoughts (and limiting negative self-talk). Focus on what you can control (your thoughts, words, and actions) and let the rest go.

Listen to understand

Do not listen with the intent to reply, but with the intent to understand.

Everyone would benefit from having better listening skills. The main part of listening that I think we sometimes forget is that we should be listening to actually understand the other person’s point of view. How are they feeling? What are they trying to convey? Why do they feel that way?

If you are curious, and you’re not afraid to ask questions, you’ll naturally begin to ask them more questions to gain a better understanding of why they’re talking. This takes patience. Sometimes others don’t know why they’re talking. Other times they want to feel important. Try to understand where they’re coming from, and be ok not having “the answer” or saying something profound every time you speak. Instead, keep asking better questions.

If you ask better questions, you’ll get better answers. And not only that, but the other person will feel like you genuinely care (which you should) and that you actually understand them (which a lot of people won’t). You’ll build new relationships quicker and you’ll strengthen your existing relationships.

Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Don’t go on your phone when they’re talking. Look at them in the eyes and give them your full attention. If you do that, they will feel listened to and you might actually learn or retain what they’ve said. Then, if you bring up something they said in the past (in a future conversation), they’ll feel even more heard, which will again strengthen your relationship with them.

Just do it

If you wait to start until you feel like you’re “ready,” you’ll never get started.

You’ll never be 100% ready for what happens next because we can’t predict the future. All you can do is put yourself in the best position to succeed by reading about a subject and asking others who have already accomplished what you want to do. From there, take action. Even if you’re taking baby steps, that’s better than procrastinating and always being in learning mode.

We often confuse learning with productivity. Learning is amazing, but if you don’t do anything with what you’ve learned, it should actually be re-categorized as entertainment. DOING something meaningful is productive. Make sure that you don’t confuse step one (learning) and step two (taking action to stay busy) with productivity.

Personal responsibility

“Doctors won’t make you healthy. Nutritionists won’t make you slim. Teachers won’t make you smart. Gurus won’t make you calm. Mentors won’t make you rich. Trainers won’t make you fit. Ultimately, you have to take responsibility. Save yourself.” – Naval Ravikandt

We are responsible for how our lives turn out. It’s easy to blame someone else when things go wrong. It’s also easy to think that someone else can “save” us from our own problems. But we need to be the hero of our own stories. Someone can help us, they can be our “guide,” but we must choose to be the hero.

Being the hero doesn’t mean that nothing bad will happen to us, but if we keep pushing past the obstacles, we can overcome them. It’s up to you to make a choice every day. Are you going to wait for someone to come and save you? Or will you do what needs to be done to save yourself? If you want to live your best life, you must take ownership of it.