Three underrated skills that everyone should learn

1. Sales.

Whether you like it or not, you’re involved in a sales pitch every day. In addition to trying to be sold by retailers, you’re also being sold/selling what you should eat for dinner, what movie you’re going to watch, what your plans should be for this weekend, etc. If you get good at selling, you’ll get what you want more often than not in life. The key is to not make it sound like a sales pitch. People like to buy. They get excited about buying. But they hate being sold.

2. Storytelling.

Good storytelling can capture imaginations, paint vivid pictures, express ideas that can’t be conveyed otherwise, and win people over. If you are a good storyteller, you’ll naturally draw people’s attention and they will be more likely to enjoy your company.

3. Carpentry.

To be a good carpenter, you generally have to have good forethought to see what repercussions there are for what you are about to do. It requires hands on skill. And, there is usually more math involved than most people think. Doing work with your hands accesses a different part of your brain than reading, writing, or listening, and is essential to becoming as well-rounded as possible.

Five attributes of a great leader

1. Courage. What leader has been great without also showing extreme courage? George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr…none of them were perfect (nobody is). But what separates them even from other great leaders is their ability to choose to be courageous when it would be easier to lay down. To be courageous, you must first have a clear understanding of what your core values are and stick to them. When times get tough, you will have a decision to make. Do you stay true to what you say your values are? Or do you let the easier choice make your decision?

2. Confidence. To be a leader, you must display confidence. This is not to say that you will always be confident in your decisions. Nobody knows what the future holds or how your decisions will work out. But, you must not let the unknowns paralyze you from making a decision. Instead, take a reasonable time to do your due diligence – research what experts are saying, ask those whom you respect of their opinions, and inject your own common sense into the equation – then act on it! Be decisive and show confidence in your decision. If you’re not confident in yourself, how can you expect others to have confidence in you? Who wants to follow a leader who is meek and not confident in their actions?

It’s easy to look back and say, “I should have done this or that instead.” But the fact of the matter is, you have to make a decision which you feel is best with the information you have at that time. Once you get new information, you can make a different decision. But don’t beat yourself up for not knowing what was unknowable at the time. You will never have all of the answers, so don’t wait to act until you have them. Perfection is the enemy of progress. Done is better than perfect. Be confident and unapologetic in your decisions.

3. Poise. Leaders are poised. They are calm under pressure. They don’t panic. They don’t lose their cool. They do not point fingers or play the blame game. When things get tough, they buckle down. They figure out what the real issue is (not just attacking the surface problem, only for another related problem to pop up…they go deeper to try to get to the root cause and eliminate it). They figure out who needs to do what and when it needs to be completed. They can explain the importance of why it needs to be done and delegate it to others to complete. They might give guidance on how to accomplish it, but they don’t micromanage. Micromanaging kills autonomy and sabotages morale. Leaders understand that people want direction, but they want the freedom to do it their own way. Giving someone that freedom shows you respect them and believe in them enough to get the job done on their own terms.

4. Abundance mindset. Leaders have an abundance mindset, not a scarcity mindset. Instead of looking at others who are successful and being jealous of them, they see them and try to figure how they can emulate and expand upon their successes. Competition leads to innovation.

5. Discipline. Leaders are disciplined and gritty. They understand that in order to consistently produce the results they want, they have to put in focused effort day-in and day-out. True success – success that lasts – requires more than a “one and done” kind of approach. You can’t expect to be great if you never practice. You have to continuously work to be better, to become more efficient, to look for new ways of solving problems. When you don’t feel like doing something important, do it anyways. Find your discipline muscle and use it. And when things don’t go your way, be gritty enough to keep at it. You can allow yourself to be temporarily discouraged, but use that as fuel to overcome the obstacles you’re facing.

Accidentally choosing mediocrity

In my quest to be great at all things, I become mediocre in them. I have to choose…just like I can’t reach my peak strength while also having the best endurance, I must prioritize what is most important to me. Do I want to be a powerlifter, a bodybuilder, or a marathoner? If I choose to be all three that’s fine. It may be the best overall for my health (being well-rounded), but I will limit my success in all of them by choosing to do all three simultaneously. If I want to compete to be the best in any of them, I must focus on only one.

One way to try to circumvent choosing only one is to have overlap in the things in which I want to be great. Figure out what each thing has in common…do they have similar training schedules so I’m not spending more time, effort, or money than I need to? If I can maximize my efficiency and effectiveness, I may be able to reach my potential in multiple tasks at once. But if they are very different (requiring different skill sets, training schedules, etc.), I will be limited by my resources (time, energy, money) and not be able to compete as well as I want.

Ego – is it good or bad?

The unhealthy ego can be such a detriment to our lives. Everybody thinks that they’re better at “x” than those around them. For example, if you ask 100 people if they are above average, average, or below average at nearly any task they complete regularly (like driving a car), the majority of them will say they are above average.

The problem with an unhealthy ego is that it makes you inclined to place judgment on others. When you think you’re better than others, you tend to treat them differently. You are more likely to point out the window, casting blame, instead of looking in the mirror first. “It’s their fault…I didn’t do anything wrong.”

When you judge, it can help you temporarily feel better. But really, it separates you from others. It isolates you and makes you feel lonely. If the person who made the mistake is on your team, it can erode your team chemistry. And if they are someone you’re dealing with in a transaction, it can suddenly make the situation much more combative than it needs to be. Judging others (even if you don’t realize you’re doing it) is a short-term “fix” that does not serve you in the long run.

The ego is not all bad though. If you are without an ego, you may not have the confidence to branch out and try something new. You may not believe in yourself or your ability to complete a difficult task. You need to have an ego, but just don’t let it get out of control.

Try to have a healthy ego. A healthy ego should allow you to have belief in yourself – that you’re a capable, responsible, honest person who does things with integrity. Once your ego grows too large, you may notice that you believe that everything you do or say is right and that nobody should ever question you. No matter how much success you experience in life, make sure you keep others around you who will challenge your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Do not be upset with them when they do this, otherwise you are subconsciously training them to not provide any feedback that doesn’t praise you.