mindset | The Caleb Barney Collection

But…why do you think you want that?

Really think deeply about what it is that you want and why you want that.

Do you truly want it because of an internal desire OR do you want it because society says you should want it?

Are you doing it to impress others?

Don’t waste your time fighting so hard to achieve a goal, look a certain way, do certain things, etc. only to realize that it shouldn’t have been a goal for you at all.

Do you really want that fancy car (and, the real question is, do you want that car for what it will actually cost you)? What is the opportunity cost of owning that? Do you want to be in the best shape of your life for you or to impress others? Why do you want to earn more? Is it so you can provide the best life for yourself and your family or is it so others can know “how successful” you are?

Make sure you are taking steps towards achieving your goals for you. Who cares what other people think? And take the time to make sure it’s the right goal, otherwise it’s like leaning your ladder up against a wall and climbing to the top only to realize that you have the ladder on the wrong wall. You’re moving to move at that point, but when you get to the top, you will be unfulfilled.

Discover your “why” and you’ll find your purpose and meaning in life.

Knowledge and ignorance

“The greater our knowledge increases the more our ignorance unfolds.” John F. Kennedy

You don’t know what you don’t know. I used to think I was relatively smart, then I began reading more and realized that there is so much I don’t know.

We will never know everything. We can’t even know everything that we think we know, let alone use science, math, and other information/data to break through to understand new answers and technologies.

As long as you remain humble, keep an open mind, and always try to learn something new, you’ll be in a good spot. Don’t talk down to others because you think your idea of “the truth” is more complete than theirs. Over time, you’ll come to realize that your truth today is only a partial truth. It’s your truth, but then there is also the other person’s truth (their perspective of the same event/situation) and the objective truth (what happened, with no thoughts/opinions of why something was said/done, without assigning intent or judgment, etc). And what really plays with your mind is when you realize that your truth today gets twisted/altered so that when you look back at the event in five, ten, or twenty years, you have yet another version of the truth.

Healthspan vs lifespan

Work to improve your healthspan, not just your lifespan.

Why would you want to live to be 100 years old if your health was poor for the last 30 years of your life? Is it really considered “living” if you can’t do the things you want to do based on physical or mental limitations?

“Healthspan” can be defined as the period of one’s life that one is healthy. Focus on eating the right foods, exercising your mind and body regularly, stretching, breathing, drinking enough water, and getting enough sleep. And just as important as adding positive actions is removing negative ones too. There are things you can limit or avoid doing that can shorten your healthspan such as drinking too much alcohol, smoking, not wearing a seatbelt (if you get into an accident), over consuming food, etc.

Keep these things in mind everyday. Yes, you should enjoy yourself every now and then. And moderation goes a long way. But the more often you treat your current self, the more likely you are actually hurting your future self. Make conscious decisions on if your actions are worth the potential consequences.

Be so good they can’t ignore you (and prepare for haters along the way)

“Haters are a good problem to have. Nobody hates the good ones. They hate the great ones.” – Kobe Bryant

Be so good that they can’t ignore you. And know that along the way, you will have detractors. You’ll have people making negative comments or disparaging remarks to try to bring you down to their level. Ignore the critics. Pay no attention to the haters. They are obstacles in your way to greatness.

If you dream big and act on your dreams, people will inevitably say things to you to make you question your decisions.

“Why do you work so hard?”

“I would never want to _____.”

“That sounds miserable.”

Don’t worry about what they say. Live your life and let them worry about living theirs. You’re striving for greatness, not mediocrity. As Tywin Lannister says in Game of Thrones, “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of sheep.”

What to do when you’re feeling sad

When you feel sad, go do something. Do something that usually makes you happy. Take your mind off of whatever is bothering you, not to completely distract you from pain, but to let you come back to it later with a different perspective. Go work out, hang out with friends, watch a movie, read, be productive… Movement is key. Don’t sit and wallow in your sorrow. You’re likely not going to come up with a solution to your problem if you only focus on the bad and feel sorry for yourself.

Smile. Laugh. Move. It’s hard to be sad and laugh at the same time. When your body feels good (like during/after a workout), it can trick your mind into feeling good. Get going and you will begin to feel better. And realize, all things pass with time. The sadness you’re currently feeling will eventually go away on its own, but it will go away even quicker if you help the process.