Category: mindset

Go with the flow. Be flexible.

You have to be flexible in life. If you’re too rigid, you’re more likely to break. If you’re pliable, you can bend without breaking. The wind can push you over, but it won’t break you. If you’re too stiff and can’t go with the flow, you’ll snap in half during the storm.

Practice going with the flow. This can be tough if you’re a planner and want things to go a certain way. But you have to realize that there are many things outside of our control. And if we don’t leave right on time, if we’re not eating the “perfect meal,” or getting exactly the right amount of sleep, it’s ok. Everything will be ok. We will survive. Our children will survive. One bad day or bad week isn’t going to ruin our health.

Go with the flow before you stress yourself out (and those around you) too much. Because if you’re too rigid, life will feel much harder than it needs to.

Power

We want to power not so we can abuse it, but to make sure that we are never taken advantage of. But there are different types of power. For example, being wealthy is powerful. If you are independently wealthy and not financially reliant on your W-2 income, if you feel like you are mistreated or if you just don’t like your job you can leave it for something else.

Other types of power include strength (physical and mental), intelligence, and influence.

If you physical strength or if you know how to defend yourself, you have power. People will think twice about messing with you before selecting an easier target.

If you have mental strength, you have power. Others will not be able to manipulate your emotions if you know how to keep them in check.

If you have intelligence, you have power. You will be able to detect when someone is lying or trying to mislead you. You can use your intuition and what you already have a base knowledge of to figure out if something makes sense.

If you have influence (such as a huge social media following, but even with your friends or family), you have power. Your words can affect how people think, what they say/do, how they vote, etc.

Once again, it’s not that we want this power to hold over someone else. It’s actually the complete opposite. We want to have the power so that others can’t exercise that power on us.

How are you increasing your power today?

Being a positive realist

Not everything that happens in life is positive. Yes, you can try to find the silver lining in everything (and you should), but that doesn’t mean that you should ignore the negative.

When you feel pain, suffering, or annoyance, it’s for a reason. Pay attention to that and do something about it. If you can’t do anything about it, there’s no need to get angry or stressed about it. There’s no need to beat yourself up over it or to make yourself feel bad. And there is never a need to have self-pity.

Things happen that we don’t want to happen all the time. We can’t change the past. But we can learn from it and use those experiences to shape our future. Whether we decide to focus on the negative or positive is up to us, but the best choice is to see the whole picture, realize it is what it is, and get to work.

It’s just like the Serenity Prayer says…”God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.”

Today, and from now on, work on being a positive realist. You’re realistic about the situation at hand, but you can find the light in everything.

Remember what you’re working for

For the high achievers out there, remember what you’re working for. Some people refer to this as finding your “why.” Why are you working so hard? What is it that you really want?

Sure, you may like what you do, you may find enjoyment getting recognition or accolades from your employer, or you want to be seen as successful in the eyes of your peers/family members, but is that in alignment with what you actually want?

I’ve been working hard for a long time. I worked in high school, worked my way through college, and upon graduating I worked multiple jobs and many hours of overtime to pay off any student loans I had, pay off cars, a mortgage, etc. But after having kids, I had to re-prioritize my life goals. Did I still want to earn financial freedom? Absolutely. But I need to do it in a more sustainable way so I can see my family. Working 60-70 hour work weeks will help me earn income, but at what expense?

The questions I had to ask myself were:

1) What am I working so hard for? What is my new why? The answer to this, I think, is to create the best life possible for my family. That doesn’t necessarily mean to have or to make the most money though. Instead, I think it’s to raise respectful children with good work ethics who are happy with life…and me NOT being around just so I can earn more money or do something I’m “passionate” about is actually a very selfish thing to do.

2) Instead of racing the the financial freedom finish line, am I willing to maybe work a few more years to have a better quality of life (more free time to spend with my family, friends, and hobbies)? The answer to this is yes. What’s the point in rushing to retirement when you might lose your family (say, if you get divorced as a result of never spending time with your spouse), you lose your health (because you’re “too busy” to work out), lose your friends (because you never hang out with them anymore), and have no hobbies (are you just going to sit at home and watch tv all day)?? That life would be so unfulfilling to me.

So, as I conclude, I just want to say that everyone is different. We feel different things, have different goals, and are in different stages of life. Our life experiences are different. Our expectations are different. There is no right or wrong when it comes to why you’re working as hard as you are. But the key thing is to think about what you’re working for and adjust your time accordingly.