Category: mindset

You’re not going to win

“It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.” – Bill Murray

When you’re in an argument or when you disagree with someone (especially about their opinion or in “gray” matters), how often do you ever actually say something that gets them to change their minds? It’s hard enough to convince them that you’re right using logic and facts, but when you are debating over something that doesn’t have a factually correct/incorrect answer yet and is based on speculation, you most likely aren’t going to “win” that argument.

This is why people say to not talk about sex, politics, religion, or money. Those topics are too emotionally charged. And what is right for one person may not be right for you. How they view the subject will likely be different than you, and discussing it leaves you open to having huge disagreements and arguments over something in which you won’t change their mind.

That being said, if you do get caught up in a debate, don’t take it personally. They believe what they believe and you believe what you believe. Don’t take offense to their opinion, which more often than not, have no bearing on your life. Why would you choose to get worked up over something that doesn’t actually affect you?

Failing as a way to move forward

Failing is learning. Do you think a professional golfer has never lost a golf ball, a basketball player hasn’t missed a shot, or a baseball player didn’t strike out to end the game? You will never be 100% successful in everything you try. Embrace failures. If you only attempt to do things you already know you can do, your improvement will be limited. It’s ok to fail! The key is to learn from those failures – to bounce back and try again! True winners don’t let failures keep them down.

Be likeable

Have you met someone who just makes you feel good when you’re around them?

Be that person to other people. How? Listen to them intently, encourage them (with verbal and nonverbal cues) to keep talking, be interested, know when to add to the conversation/when to interrupt and when not to, smile, don’t be too eager/annoying, if they’re busy with something then leave them be. Have interests. Have things to talk about, but don’t always make it about you. Ask questions. Be approachable. Include others in your conversation. Be nice – not only to that person, but to everyone around you. Be a person of integrity. Be an expert in your field. Know your worth.

The more likeable you are, the further you are likely to go. “You can go fast alone, but you can go far together.” The more people enjoy your company, the more they will try to help you achieve your goals. Let them help you and you will go far.

The overlooked predictor of success

What makes someone successful?

If you ask most people, they’ll usually say some combination of having natural ability, good work ethic, knowing the “right people,” having integrity, charm, and maybe even some good luck.

But there’s one thing that gets overlooked sometimes, yet I feel is just as important as the more popular answers…resilience.

Resilience is one of the best predictors of our future success, because at some point we will always encounter something difficult. Things won’t always go our way. Are we willing to keep going even when it’s tough? When the shiny object has disappeared and our initial interest has faded, do we stop chasing after that goal we were once excited about or do we have the determination to keep after it?

Are we strategic when we quit something? The saying “winners never quit,” isn’t true. Sometimes you have to know when to re-prioritize your goals or to tweak them, but you have to give it an honest effort. And when you do “quit,” are you just giving up or are you making adjustments before setting new goals?

Be tough. Be resilient. Bounce back after a loss. It’s the ones who keep coming back for more that will be successful. You can’t keep them down. Adapt and overcome and you will eventually be successful.

Follow through

One of the most underrated attributes has to be someone’s ability to follow though with doing what they said they would do.

Did you call the person back when you said you would?

Did you go work out when you said you would?

Did you get the piece of information you said you would?

There are so many things we “promise” we’ll do and then never actually do it.

Don’t be that person. Make your words mean something. Inspire confidence in other’s belief in you by rewarding them for doing so. If you constantly don’t do what you say you’re going to do, why should they believe you? Give them confidence to endorse you to their friends. The more you follow through, the easier it will be for them to think you’ll get it done.