Your guide to a healthier perspective of life
1. Have I made strides towards my goals today? Did I help or hurt myself physically, mentally, spiritually, relationally, vocationally, and financially?
2. After my encounters with others, do I generally make them feel better about themselves?
3. Did I live with integrity today? Did I do the right things, say the right things, and act according to my values?
Have the courage to face your weaknesses. Where are you lagging behind? What faults do you have? What mistakes do you repeatedly make? How can you improve in these areas?
Have the courage to admit you were wrong. It will be hard to look in the mirror instead of pointing out the faults of others. Or to admit your mistakes without caveats or giving excuses…just own them. Don’t say, “I only did this because…” or “I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t do this.” That’s not admitting your mistake, not really.
Focus on your actions and how you can improve the situation, not on what you did right and what the other person did wrong. Don’t go in with the idea of having an “unwritten and unspoken agreement” (something in your head only) that when you apologize for X, the other will/should apologize for Y. That’s not how it works. Be sorry when you’re sorry. If you only use the words but don’t actually mean it, others will eventually see through it.
Sometimes, when we have incomplete information, or when we don’t really know a person, we tell ourselves that they did something maliciously towards us because they’re mean, miserable, etc. And while there may be some truth to that story, the real truth is we don’t know why they did what they did or why they said what they said. Maybe they were hangry or they just got bad news about their kids, parents, or friends. Maybe they’re going through a divorce or they’re stressed from work. Maybe they thought they were just teasing you and didn’t know you took it the wrong way.
I’d like to think that most people, at least in their own eyes, are good. We may misunderstand them or have different values, but that doesn’t make the other person bad. Your boss or co-worker you can’t stand? They are someone’s mom/dad, husband/wife, child, friend, etc. They want to be happy and feel like they’re contributing to others’ happiness too. Maybe they’re stuck in a rut or you caught them at a bad time, or maybe you were jut too sensitive at that moment.
At the very worst, think of the situation through the lens of Hanlon’s razor. It says, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” In other words, sometimes bad things happen not because of people are purposely trying to hurt you, but because they did not think through their actions (and the consequences) properly. People *usually* aren’t out to get you.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re really busy, you don’t feel tired until after you sit down for a break?
Or have you ever noticed that when you have two months to complete a project, you finish (and usually start) the project in two months? But if that same project was due in two weeks or even in two days you would still get it done?
Just like Newton’s first law of physics says, “An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion…”
Those who are constantly doing things and making things happen (setting goals and regularly achieving them by taking consistent action) will likely continue to do so. But those who “have all the time in the world” and are not currently in motion will likely not get the task done in the timeframe you want.
This is why it’s so important to stay in motion. Just get started. We should seek progress, not perfection. Perfection is a myth we tell ourselves we are striving for, but in reality it is masking our tendencies of procrastination. Done is better than perfect. Strive for starting, making progress, and finishing a task. Don’t get distracted with the next shiny object. Start something, finish it, then move on to the next one.
Work on being resilient in all situations. No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you can and will overcome it. When you fall down, you can choose to stay down and wallow in sorrow, or you can choose to get back up. Be a riser. Others can’t keep you down, only you get to make that choice.
Don’t overdramatize things. Something didn’t go your way…What is complaining going to do? Nothing. Learn from your mistakes. And if you feel you did everything “right” but it still didn’t work out, that doesn’t mean you need to make a bad decision next time because the good decision didn’t pay off this time/last time.