Tolerant with others. Strict with yourself.

“”Tolerant with others. Strict with yourself. Marcus Aurelius
“Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.” – Marcus Aurelius

You know what you should do, so go do it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel like it. If it’s the right thing to do and it needs to be done, don’t waste anymore time procrastinating. It may be easier to skip that workout, to eat fast food, to go on a spending spree, or to not speak up against injustice, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to not do what you feel is right. Or, maybe you do what is needed, but you only do the bare minimum. Be careful of this. How you do anything is how you do everything. If you start looking for shortcuts, eventually that will be your default behavior.

That being said, that’s what YOU should do. That doesn’t mean that you should hold others to the same standards. Don’t mistake this for letting them off the hook and letting them get away with things that are dangerous, amoral, or illegal. They shouldn’t take advantage of people and still need to be called out (or stopped) when they’re doing something egregious. But for the little things that don’t really matter? Skip the criticism.

Others may do things differently than you – in a way that appears to be less effective and less efficient – but at least they’re doing it. If they ask for advice or for help, then offer it. But don’t do it before then. And don’t judge them for not doing something like you would. After all, those are your standards, not theirs. Be tolerant of their decisions, but strict with your own. If you feel your way of doing things is the “best way” to currently do them, don’t lower your standards just to make things easier for yourself.

Mastering yourself

“The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself.” – Plato

If you can’t control your emotions, acting on impulse, or “forcing” yourself to do what you know needs to be done, you are already at a disadvantage.

So many people worry about persuading others to do what they want, or to somehow influence their decisions, but don’t take into consideration the fact that if they are able to conquer themselves, they will be much better off.

Practice discipline. Practice self-control. Practice mastering your thoughts (and limiting negative self-talk). Focus on what you can control (your thoughts, words, and actions) and let the rest go.

Opportunity cost

If you’re saying “yes” to one thing (and this applies to anything in life), that means you are saying “no” to something else.

What is your opportunity cost? We can’t be in two places at once. We only have so much time in the day. We have limited resources. So by saying yes to one thing, it is costing you the opportunity to do something else.

Choose what you spend your time, energy, and money on wisely. If you always want to do what feels good in the moment, you may be sacrificing the well-being of your future self.

“On sale”

You know that clearance rack, or the item that is on sale?

You can walk past it without buying anything…

Before you put whatever item is on sale into your shopping cart (whether that’s online or in person), ask yourself if this is something you actually need or if you just like a “bargain.”

One could argue that it’s not a bargain at all if you end up spending money on something you didn’t intend to…

Experience makes things easier

Whenever you first encounter a new problem, it can seem overwhelming. You don’t know what to do. Trying to find the right answer or response is hard. But once you figure it out, once you’ve experienced it, the next time you face that problem, it will seem easier. But the obstacle hasn’t changed, only your ability to overcome that obstacle has.

The obstacle is what it is. How you (and others) view it depends on what it is in comparison to. Your experience has shaped you and helped strengthen you, making the “hurdle” that is the obstacle appear to shrink. And over time, as you continue clearing the hurdle with relative ease, it will seem even smaller.

So, as you face new challenges, keep that in perspective. It may seem like a massive undertaking today, but you’ll look back at this in a year and wonder why you thought it was such a big deal.