Management

If you are in a position to manage others, there are two major mistakes to avoid. The first is micromanaging. If you have capable people working for/with you, they have good ethics, they have produced results in the past, and they know what the near-term and long-term goals are for themselves and the company are, do not constantly be looking over their shoulder. Don’t step on their toes! Let them do what they know best. But it’s good to keep the lines of communication open. You should still have regular check-ins to see how they’re doing, if they need help/another opinion on how to do something, etc. When you micromanage, you take away not only their sense of autonomy, but you also remove accountability from them. After all, they are only following your orders when you tell them every single thing to do.

The opposite is also a problem though, which is to becomes so hands-off that those you are managing don’t think you know what’s going on. If you’re not present, don’t talk with them regularly, or aren’t in any meetings with them, when you go to make a suggestion they are much more likely to disregard your suggestions. You become an outsider at that point, not a team member, a leader, or a manager.

Aim to strike a healthy balance between the two forms of communication. Guide them, but let them be the heroes. Ask them questions so they can think of how to improve a situation. Monitor their results and be prepared to step in if you feel they will do something that may have catastrophic/irreversible results. But, ultimately, keep in mind that people will work hardest for you when they like what they do, when they’re engaged/interested, when there is mutual respect between themselves, their manager, and their co-workers, and when they feel you have their back.

Taking Action: The cure to fear

Action cures fear. The more you do, the less you fear. Don’t spend time thinking or overthinking about a worst-case scenario of something that has not happened and is not likely to happen.

If there are major consequences to your actions, take the time to think about the best way to approach the situation. Be serious and focused, do your research, read, talk with experts, get advice. But eventually, you have to make a decision with the information at hand. At that point, give yourself grace no matter the outcome. You did everything you could and were thoughtful in your approach.

If there are NOT major consequences to your decision, stop wasting time worrying about it. Time spent worrying is time taken away from enjoying life.

Let your body lead (how to artificially produce confidence)

Act confidently to think confidently. This then feeds itself and turns into a never-ending cycle. It’s like the old adage says… Fake it until you make it.

It’s amazing what your body can trick your mind into believing. You can know what you’re talking about, but if you act meek or shy, if you don’t keep good posture, a smile on your face, or walk tall, if you have a limp handshake and don’t look people in the eyes, you’re not inspiring confidence in yourself. People around you see it and you feel it. It’s tough to get out of that cycle. People will be less likely trust you with big decisions, and if you run into the wrong people, they’ll look to take advantage of your lack of confidence.

Meanwhile, if you act confidently, speaking with purpose (loud, but not too loud; crisp; relatively quickly, but not too fast; with energy and enthusiasm, but not so much as to annoy the other person listening), keep your head up, your shoulders pulled back, look people in the eyes, you dress the part, and you genuinely sound like an expert, you’ll see much more success. People will be drawn to you.

Bottom line: act how you want to feel. Your body will lead the way.