Compassion vs. coddling

Understand the difference between compassion and coddling. You can be compassionate but still stern. You don’t have to be rude, but you do have to tell the truth…even when it’s easier to tell a “white lie.” Being truthful is compassionate – telling someone what they need to hear even if they don’t want to hear it. Some people say it’s tough love, but really, it’s just love.

Challenges

We all face obstacles in our lives, but how we choose to view them is the first step to overcoming them. Do you see this obstacle as your next challenge? Is it something else for you to defeat? Will this add to your life story (where you play the hero/victor)? Or is it more adversity happening to you. Do you let it get you down? (Are you playing the victim card?)

Everyone faces challenges in life. That’s just the way it is. And some people have the cards stacked against them way more than others. It’s not fair, but it is what it is. You have two choices. You can fight to overcome these challenges or you can be the victim and let them overcome you. Either way, the circumstances leading up to your decisions are the same. But the outcome can (and will) be very different.

You don’t have to ignore what has happened or is happening to you. That would be silly. But you don’t have to feed into the negativity either. Figure out how to make it better. Once you have a plan, follow through and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just don’t confuse asking someone to help you with asking for a handout…you need to bring forth effort to get yourself out of the hole you’re in, regardless of how you got there.

On waiting…

We all should practice the art of waiting more. We have become so used to this “microwave world,” where we can have nearly anything we want instantaneously.

Don’t want to sit through commercials? Hit skip ads on YouTube.

Can’t find anything good on tv? Go to your favorite streaming service.

Bored? Scroll mindlessly on social media.

The list goes on and on. It’s even that easy to buy something we want. Don’t get me wrong, I love Amazon because it’s so convenient, but that’s their business model (and they’re very good at it). They make it so convenient that you don’t think twice about buying an item you literally just discovered.

But we would be better served in the long run if we waited to get that “thing.” Try waiting for 48 hours before you buy it. Would you still want it? If you think you still want it, go to the store to buy it. Is it worth the inconvenience of you getting your shoes on, driving into town, waiting in line, and then paying for it? And what if you only allowed yourself to pay in cash? That way, if you don’t have the money right then and there (both in your bank account and physically, in your hand), you can’t buy it on credit. It feels different when you hand over some money and get less in return (as opposed to handing plastic over and getting the same piece of plastic returned to you). Psychologically, it feels more painful, even though you’re paying the same amount for the same item. While I like to optimize every aspect of my life (working on efficiency and convenience), it is important to remember we should focus on effectiveness over efficiency. Just because something is easy doesn’t make it better…

And if you can teach yourself to not always get what you want, when you want it, you will be better off in the long run. Better off financially (not spending money), mentally (building up a resiliency so when things don’t go your way, you’ll be able to cope better), and possibly better off spiritually (giving you more time/money to focus on loved ones and the environment around you, instead of focusing on material objects to eventually go in the trash).

So, how long can you wait before you get that next “must have” item? Don’t let lifestyle creep take over. Don’t let your inner child take over (“I need this toy now!”)…Practice patience. Practice waiting. Practice being fiscally responsible. You will be better off for it.

Education

School is a way to earn a degree, but it is not the only way to earn an education. There are other ways to learn, including to learn by doing. If you’ve graduated from school, or if school isn’t your thing, that doesn’t mean that you’re done learning. Learn by doing. Give yourself deadlines. Start moving and figure it out along the way. Go experience things. Get stuff done. Use your time being out of school to your advantage.

Are you delegating tasks?

At some point in time, you will have to delegate tasks and responsibilities in order to become more effective. You only have so much time during the day, and if you are in charge of doing everything, the limiting factor of how much gets done is you. You are the bottleneck.

I first noticed this when reading Tim Ferris’s “The 4-Hour Workweek.” He talks of the D-E-A-L strategy, which is summed up by deligating tasks/responsibilities that someone else can do (even if they can only do it 80% as well as you can), eliminating tasks/activities that either don’t matter or are unproductive uses of your/someone else’s time, and automating repetitive low-skill tasks that you do frequently and should not be eliminated (don’t waste your brain power or time thinking about these). Once you do those three things, it liberates you to work on the projects that give you the most joy, are in your wheelhouse, and that only you can do. You’ll have more time, energy, and, if you optimized the first three steps, money to allocate to anything else of your choosing.

The quicker you can begin delegating tasks/responsibilities, the quicker you can grow. Don’t expect it to be perfect though. Other people are imperfect (just like you) and have their own way of doing things. If you don’t provide the proper training and instructions (as well as explaining the reason why you want things done), expect worse results. Even if you do provide adequate standard operating procedures, there will still be bumps along the way. But you have to take the good with the bad. And, ultimately, as long as you delegated power to the right person, you will be able to move forward faster than if you took on everything yourself.