Category: parenting

Fighting back when necessary

Do not hit unless you absolutely have to. But when you do, hit hard. You should never go looking for a fight, but if someone backs you into a corner or if you have to defend yourself or others, do it. And don’t hold back, because of you only gently attack them, chances are you’ll only make them more upset/come after you harder. You only have one chance to surprise them. Make it count.

If you don’t ever defend yourself, or you never stand up to that bully, they will continue to bully you. But worse than that is the lack of self-respect and self-confidence you will develop. If you do stand up and fight, you might get beat up/lose. But the harder you fight, the less likely it is that the bully will continue to pick on you. They will want to go after easier prey. (Stand up for them too.)

Tips on leadership

It is just as important to reward good behavior as it is to punish misconduct.

When an employee’s (or a child’s) negative behaviors are tolerated, it can be detrimental to the health, mindset, and culture of the rest of the business (or family).

Remember to praise in public and to reprimand in private. This is a general rule (some people need to be scolded in public if, after several attempts to talk in private, doesn’t work).

Care about people first. When you show you care about them, that you respect them, they will work harder to achieve a common goal.

4 requirements to have a great relationship with your significant other

1. Show them that you want to be with them. Be interested in their stories. Pay them sincere compliments. Make them feel good about themselves and make them feel desired. Ask yourself, are most of your interactions with them positive, negative, or neutral (the silent killer)?

2. Show them appreciation. When they help you, make sure you point out the specifics about how their actions have made your life easier or improved your life in some way. Never forget to thank them and do not take their helpfulness or thoughtfulness for granted. Ask yourself, when was the last time you thanked them for doing something “expected?” Do you still thank them for picking up the groceries, folding the laundry, or taking out the trash? Yes, those things need to be done. But maybe you should be the one to do those things (or, at the very least, say thank you when they get done).

3. Show them respect. Never get into a name-calling argument. Even if you disagree with their opinion or action, approach them with respect. Don’t roll your eyes, make snarky remarks, or make audible sounds (like sighing) to express your disapproval. Avoid being passive aggressive and instead be respectfully upfront with them. Have you noticed yourself doing any of these things? Stop it. And if you do catch yourself doing it, apologize right then and there.

4. Show them love. You can want to hang out with someone, but not love them. You can appreciate what they do for you, but not love them. You can respect someone, but not love them. Even though your significant other should be a treasured friend, don’t lump them into the “friend zone” with everyone else. Show them love and speak their love language. When was the last time you showed your significant other affection? When was the last time you hugged them, kissed them, or…(you get it)? Maybe their love language isn’t physical touch. You could try other things like getting them a gift “just because” or writing them a note each morning. Try different things, but always show your love for them and your relationship stands a good chance of not only surviving, but thriving.

Clarity through simplification

Simplify to clarify.

If you can answer a question completely in 7 words, don’t use 8. If you can use the most simple language that even a child can understand, don’t use fancy words to possibly confuse others. If you do so, you’re doing so out of your own ego. You’re signaling to others “how smart you are.” Because if you were truly smart, you would not feel the need to prove it to others. Instead, your main focus would be to pass along information as clearly and concisely as possible, so that everyone listening understands and can put it into practice.

Three underrated skills that everyone should learn

1. Sales.

Whether you like it or not, you’re involved in a sales pitch every day. In addition to trying to be sold by retailers, you’re also being sold/selling what you should eat for dinner, what movie you’re going to watch, what your plans should be for this weekend, etc. If you get good at selling, you’ll get what you want more often than not in life. The key is to not make it sound like a sales pitch. People like to buy. They get excited about buying. But they hate being sold.

2. Storytelling.

Good storytelling can capture imaginations, paint vivid pictures, express ideas that can’t be conveyed otherwise, and win people over. If you are a good storyteller, you’ll naturally draw people’s attention and they will be more likely to enjoy your company.

3. Carpentry.

To be a good carpenter, you generally have to have good forethought to see what repercussions there are for what you are about to do. It requires hands on skill. And, there is usually more math involved than most people think. Doing work with your hands accesses a different part of your brain than reading, writing, or listening, and is essential to becoming as well-rounded as possible.