Growing and learning

How do we grow or learn? By consuming (taking information in from others), by doing (performing a task ourselves), and by teaching (helping others learn). Try to practice all three as often as you can.

Be you and let others be them…

March to the beat of your own drum. Don’t just do you things because you think that’s what someone your age should be doing or how they should be acting. Be your authentic self and don’t get mad at others for being their authentic selves, even if their thoughts/actions doesn’t align with what you believe in.

Remember that most people are good people, but they have had different experiences that help shape their thoughts. They want what’s best for themselves and their community and they probably have different ideas from you as to how to get there. Withhold judgment of others and focus on being the best, most forgiving version of yourself.

Training like a professional

If you only work on something when you’re motivated, you’ll never achieve outstanding results. That’s what separates professionals from amateurs. Professionals deliberately practice their craft daily. They make sure that they eat, sleep, and train for optimum performance. They’ll break down film/recordings to see where they are weak or where there is an opportunity due to an opponent’s weakness, then they try to improve or exploit that weakness.

To become truly great at something, you have to practice…a lot. You can’t just do something once and then expect to become an expert. It takes studying and experience. But if you depend solely on your motivation to do the necessary work, you will never become truly elite in your field. Motivation comes and goes. You can have it for stretches, but when things start becoming difficult, motivation is often the first thing to go.

Muhammad Ali is quoted as saying, “I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” He knew the importance of training – of doing what he didn’t want to do so he could get to the next level. Often, it is what we are willing to do that others aren’t that being us success. Are you willing to sacrifice in the short term to get the long term results you want?

So the questions are: what do you need to be doing to bring you the success you desire? Are you deliberately training, living purposefully, and working as hard as you can? Or are you relying on motivation to get you by? Take some time today to think about your goals and figure out what you need to be doing habitually to get you there.

Habits determine excellence

Habits can be good or they can be bad. Are you using them to improve yourself? Or are you gradually (or rapidly) on the decline? The truth is, we become what our habits are. They mold us into who we will become. This is why we need to be mindful of what habits we already have and which ones we would like to develop.

So how do we know what habits to develop? And how do we go about making them “stick?”

First, separate your life into categories and ask yourself what goals you have in each of those categories. Without having a goal in mind, we lack direction. We need to know what we want to accomplish before we can decide what habits to create/grow.

After you have a goal for each category, reverse engineer what stepping stones/milestones you will need to hit to achieve those goals. Now, we have our large, overarching goal AND, just as important, several small goals to help us get there.

The next step would be to do a little research. Figure out if anyone has already achieved the goal we’ve set for ourselves (why recreate the wheel if we don’t have to?). If so, is there a way you can connect with them to see what they have done to achieve success in their field? Is there a book or interview where they’ve shared their best practices? Is there a way you can talk with them in person or on the phone? If they are gracious enough to give you time/help you out, conduct your research beforehand so you are not asking about something they’ve already answered. When talking with them, can you figure out what daily habits they have and do you feel that those habits may have contributed to their success? Is this something you could emulate (answer: yes)?

After you’ve thought about what your goals are and researched how to get there, you need to implement what you’ve learned. But it will work best if reframe it in a way that motivates you (be excited!). For example, you need to start small – probably smaller than you think. The point of starting small is to make it so easy that you won’t procrastinate the process of starting.

Lastly, in addition to starting small, you should tie your new habit to something that you’re already doing. James Clear calls this “habit stacking.” If you already have one habit in place, and you can add a related habit to it, it will be much easier to maintain, as you already have a cue that reminds you to perform the new habit.

So, what are you waiting for? Our habits today shape our results tomorrow. We must always be wondering if the actions we’re taking will be to our future benefit or future detriment (to our relationships, our happiness, our health, or our bank accounts).