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The best managers are leaders. Leaders care. They take the time to understand the people that they manage. Leaders understand that because people respond differently to how they are treated and have different motivations, they must use different styles of communication to get that employee to do their best work. They don’t try to manage everyone the same way.

Some team members are motivated by a challenge and can be called out. To others, that is the worst thing that a manager can do to them. They take criticism as a personal attack. For them, they may want their manager to come alongside them and more gently guide them. Some team members will want and require more of the manager’s time to do their best work, while others will feel micromanaged if the manager is constantly trying to “help.”

Learning the different personality types of their team is crucial to being a good leader. If leaders know how their team likes to communicate, and what their team responds most positively to, they can help them be as productive as possible. If the team members feel misunderstood, they probably won’t do their best work. It is up to the leader/manager to help them feel understood.

Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, and your actions dictate your destiny. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you tell yourself is so incredibly important to what you see in life.

Where others see adversity, you see opportunity. If you change your perception of the happenings around you, you can start off with an advantage. A positive mindset will produce a better outcome than a negative one, even if it’s only in your head (similar to a placebo effect).

Whatever you focus on, your mind will look for more of…if you focus on the positive, your mind will notice other positive things happening around you and you will build momentum. If you focus on the negative, your mind will find other negative things to focus on. Suddenly, you shift from being happy to being upset.

Change your mindset and you can change your future.

Tom Morris’s 7 keys to success:

1. A clear CONCEPTION of what we want, a vivid vision, a goal clearly imagined.

2. A strong CONFIDENCE that we can attain that goal.

3. A focused CONCENTRATION on what it takes to reach our goal.

4. A stubborn CONSISTENCY in pursuing our vision.

5. An emotional COMMITMENT to the importance of what we’re doing.

6. A good CHARACTER to guide us and keep us on a proper course.

7. A CAPACITY TO ENJOY the process along the way.

Self-doubt is a dream killer. Confidence builds you up and allows you to dream bigger. What you tell yourself is important.

To have confidence, you have to think positively. You have to be optimistic. If things don’t go your way, don’t be an “Eeyore” and have a pity party for yourself. If you do that, you’ll not only feel worse about yourself, but others won’t like working with you either. You run the risk of being trapped in a seemingly never-ending cycle of depression when you talk to yourself negatively.

Have a positive attitude and confidence in yourself. It will act as a magnet to others. Keep your head up. Speak clearly, concisely, and project your voice. Don’t slouch. Smile at others. You’ll be amazed at how changing your body language will give you more confidence, and give others more confidence in you as well.

Actively work on improving yourself everyday and confidence will come. You’ll believe in yourself when you know that you’re an expert in your field and that you can overcome any obstacle in your way.

In any healthy relationship, there are going to be disagreements and arguments. The key to make sure that it stays a healthy relationship is by having both sides play by a set of unwritten rules…mostly, it comes down to this:

– Be open and honest;

– Do not personally attack the other person or their ideas;

– Allow the other person to talk and feel heard;

– Don’t roll your eyes or give off negative body language;

– Don’t try to intimidate the other person (with your words or physically);

– Don’t politic (getting other people involved in your mess).

That’s it. It seems pretty simple, but it is so hard for people to follow. When things get heated, it’s hard not to be emotional. But you have to watch what you say and how you act. A lot can be said in the heat of the moment. But here’s the thing…once said, it can’t be unsaid.

If you know that you generally overreact or “blow up” in stressful situations, try to wait before you respond. Dr. Viktor Frankl used the acronym SPR to identify how we can handle these situations better. When a stimulus (S) occurs, make sure that you pause (P) before you respond (R). The longer the pause, usually, the healthier the response. As you distance yourself from the stimulus with more time, it helps to take the emotion out of the picture and allows you to see the situation more objectively.

Relationships can be irrevocably damaged when you cross the line and break the unwritten rules. Instead of getting combative or defensive when arguing, try to cool off and collect your thoughts before responding. It may feel like you’re losing the battle by not going tit-for-tat, volleying insults back and forth, but you’re winning the war. If you care about the relationship that you have with that other person, you must follow the unwritten rules of arguing. Don’t cross the line, because once you do, it’s hard to go back.