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“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react that matters.” – Epictetus

Life is never going to go according to your plans. Sometimes good things happen and sometimes bad things happen. We can’t control everything, but what we can control is how we react to our surroundings.

We know that life isn’t always going to go our way. When it doesn’t, how you respond? If you get bad news, do you lash out at the person who told you? Do you break down and cry? Or do you remain calm in the face of adversity and figure out your next move?

Don’t have a pity party for yourself. It won’t make you feel better and then you’ve wasted valuable time to take corrective action. Not only that, but the longer you remain down, the more others view you in a negative light. Your best case scenario is that others will have sympathy for you. You might get their charity. But sympathy only goes so far and their charity will run out too. At some point, even the people who feel bad for you will get tired of your complaining.

People admire someone who can pick themselves up after falling. They respect those who can overcome defeat, who can stay positive when it looks like there’s not much to be positive about. When you take ownership of your actions and your reactions, you begin to feel more positive about your life. Even when you feel you have no control over the events occurring, at least you know that you have control over your responses.

Start practicing how you respond to events today. You’ll always make mistakes. You’ll still get angry or down sometimes. But the quicker you minimize those actions and feelings, the quicker you can move on and start making the correct actions. In the process, you’ll feel less helpless and more in control of your life.

Learn to say no. Not every task gives you the same return on investment, so why are we treating them all equally? You may have ten things to complete on your “To Do” list, but only three are important, urgent, and can’t be delegated to someone else. Of those three tasks, one is more important than the others. Focus on that most important task until it is complete and say NO to everything else until it is done.

Every time you say “yes” to something that is not related to your one task, you are saying “no” to your most important work. Saying yes to everything is like making incremental progress in a thousand directions. You’ll be very busy, but it won’t feel like you’ve done anything substantial. But if you limit what you say yes to and only focus on your most important task, you can make enormous progress in one direction.

By learning to say no to others, you are saying yes to yourself. Be ok with not making everyone else happy. You aren’t able to even if you try. You have to be able to say no (to yourself and to others) or else you’ll never be able to make the progress that you desire.

Integrity is when the actions you take are in alignment with the words you speak.

Be honest with yourself and with others.

The foundation of every relationship we have in this world is built on trust. You can build trust not by talking a good game, but by walking the talk as well.

Follow through with your commitments.

If you say you’re going to do something, do it.

Tell the truth, don’t twist facts. As Maya Angelou once said, “There’s a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth.”

Even on your worst days at your current job, hopefully you understand how lucky you are. Have you ever had a crappy job? Maybe it was in high school or right out of college. Have you ever hated you job, where just the thought of going made you want to curl up in a ball and not move for the rest of the day?

Think back to those days and then reflect on how far you’ve come. You will still experience rough patches, times where you’re working through a difficult project or working long hours, but it could be worse. It could always be worse.

Remember that whatever stage you’re in, this too shall pass. If you’re upset about how something is going, do something to improve your situation so it passes quickly.

Your actions affect others. Keep that in mind…this goes for your positive or negative actions and reactions. If you are cold or distant, others will likely reciprocate. If you’re happy and in a great mood, your attitude will act as a magnet and draw others towards you.

How you act towards others can change how they feel (about themselves and about you). Be mindful of the power that your actions have and try to influence others by staying positive.