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We all get paid to produce, whether we think of it that way or not. Just like professional athletes get paid to entertain, teachers get paid to educate, and personal trainers get paid to get us in shape, we get paid with the expectation of achieving a certain result for our employer or our client. Everyone gets paid to produce, and when you stop producing, you stop getting paid. The more value you produce (whether it is in quantity or quality), the more you get paid. The more value you produce, the greater your job security. You’ll always be able to find a job/keep a job if you produce more value than the company is paying you AND if you are ethically obtaining those results/abiding by the team’s core values.

Expect greatness, demand it, and you will get it. This is what the New England Patriots do. If you operate out of fear and always expect the worst possible outcome to happen, it will happen (think of my beloved Cleveland Browns). If you expect the worst or if you stop playing to win (instead, playing not to lose), that’s exactly what will happen. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Never catch yourself saying, “This stuff always happens to me.” Change your mindset and you’ll change your future.

On this day, in 2017, my dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 59.

He was one of the most influential people in my life and it was devastating for me to lose him so quickly.

Today, as I look back at the memories I have of him, I reflect on some of what he has taught me and hope that I am able to pass these lessons along to my children. Below are the first five lessons that come to mind when thinking of my dad.

1) Life is good…Be optimistic. Put things into perspective. We are extremely fortunate to be where we are and should not take it for granted. Even when times are tough, remember that life is good.

2) Happiness is a state of mind, not a state on the map…protect your mental health. Strengthen it. Your happiness must come from within. You can’t run away from your inner demons. A change in scenery is not the answer – facing your challenges is.

3) You can do anything in the world if you put your mind to it…my dad believed more in me than anybody on this planet. He instilled confidence in me when I didn’t have it. He was confident, brash, and intelligent. Sometimes he had too much confidence, but that allowed him to do as much as he did – he served in the military, graduated from the Culinary Institute of America, was a teacher, executive chef, business owner, author, sang in the church choir, led a men’s group at church, volunteered with prison ministry, and did so much more. He truly lived…he wasn’t afraid to try new things and he wasn’t afraid of “failing.” Most people are afraid of changing because they fear the unknown. They fear that they might fail. My dad experienced fear too, but he didn’t run from it. He used to paraphrase Cus D’Amato, saying, “The Hero and The Coward both experience fear. But it’s what they do with it that separates the two. You get to choose what you do with fear.”

4) “Did you try your best?” My dad didn’t care about the grades I earned. He was proud of me no matter what I did, and if I didn’t receive an “A” on a test he would ask “did you try your best?” Sometimes the answer was yes, and that was good enough for him. If the answer was no, then he would ask a follow up question of what I could have done better. He didn’t focus on the outcome as much as he focused on the processes which led to the outcome.

5) “I love you.” My dad was caring, passionate, and not afraid to be vulnerable. He always wanted my sister and I to know that he loved us, so he told us frequently. He didn’t want us to have any ambiguity. Anytime he had to leave (whether in person or on the phone), he would always tell us that he loved us. To this day, I still say this to my wife, my sister, and my mom every time that I am leaving. And I will always tell it to my son and unborn daughter.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun

We often look to external sources for motivation, and while that’s ok, it’s not enough. As Jim Ryun states in the quote above, motivation gets us started. But it doesn’t last. It needs to be continually renewed, and if it doesn’t get renewed before your habits are in place? You lose interest and fall back to your old ways.

That’s why the gym is always packed for the first month after New Years. Everybody has made their resolution to “lose 10 pounds this year” or to “get in better shape.” They get motivated, but they don’t set up the right habits to get to their incorrectly defined goals. Then, once the motivation wears off, they stop going to the gym.

Incorrect goal-setting is the other part of the problem here…the first example listed (to lose 10 pounds) is a results-based goal and the second example (to get in better shape) is too vague. Your goals should be S.M.A.R.T. and should really focus on taking the right actions, which will eventually lead you to the result/outcome that you desire. Your body may hit several plateaus on the way to losing a certain amount of weight or gaining a certain amount of muscle, but the important thing to keep in mind is, are you taking the right steps to get to your goal? Are you developing the right habits? That’s what is in your control. Focus on actions, not on results.

“Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily.” – Epictetus

Think big and aim high. Dream big, then reverse engineer how you will accomplish that dream. Write down your goals and look at them everyday. Keep them front of mind and share your goals with others. But remember, talk is cheap. In order to reach your goals, you have to DO. Do something about it. Work on yourself daily. Take actions that will get you to where you want to go and you will eventually achieve your dream.