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Know the difference between standards (actions based on your core values) and goals (results). You should always set challenging goals, but do not idolize these. Goals/milestones will eventually be hit if you have the right standards in place, with the right people in the right seats on the bus.

But if you only focus on the goal, like to become a millionaire or to get straight A’s, you’re focusing on the wrong thing. You’re focusing on a result, which you only have partial control over, and not on the standards to get you there, of which you have complete control. You get to decide what standards and processes you live by AND if you’re following them to get you the best result. Follow the process, and you’ll reach your goal.

What if you valued reaching the goal above all else? What if you decided that you would reach your goal at any cost possible? Would you steal money to get to millionaire status? Would you cheat your way to a 4.0 GPA? Would you lower your standards, ethics, or morals?

Having integrity and living by your core values is more important than achieving an arbitrary goal. Make sure you set measurable standards in addition to lofty, yet realistic “stretch” goals AND make sure that you understand what is truly important.

I think that everyone can deal with bouts of sadness or depression. Life has its ups and downs, both of which are meant to be shared with others.

A problem shared is a problem divided. Happiness shared is happiness multiplied…This is why it is so essential to have a support group around you – people that you can tell anything, people that won’t gossip, people who have your back. Whether you have a significant other, a best friend, a group of close friends, or anyone else, make sure that you are able to have open, honest conversations.

I realized this after my dad died. It was a terrible situation, but it could have been so much worse. I was lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people. My wife. My mom and sister. My friends. My co-workers. I’ve been so blessed and I never want to take that for granted.

Dealing with hardship builds your tolerance to the BS of everyday life. People’s favorite activity these days is complaining. But dealing with death puts life into perspective. You realize that the problem that you’re facing today probably won’t matter a year from now, let alone in ten years. When you encounter true hardship, it thickens your skin a little bit. It’s better face the trivial day-to-day stuff head on, to face the “little things” now, so that when true bad news does come (and eventually, it does for everyone), it might stiffen your resolve some.

We need to realize that every day isn’t going to be perfect. Hopefully you have more good days than bad, but your mindset and how you approach life can have a major impact on how you view each day. Try to look for the positive in any situation, and it will minimize your bad days. If you are feeling really depressed, make sure you reach out to someone and let them know how you’re feeling. Remember a problem shared is a problem divided. If you feel you don’t have anyone to turn to, call a hotline (I Googled this option here – https://www.crisistextline.org/depression).

Finally, remember, life is more than your current situation. Whatever you’re feeling is just that – a feeling. You have control over your thoughts. Think positive, self-affirming thoughts and remember that life is good.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” – Charles Darwin

Champions don’t get to where they are in spite of the adversity and hardships that they’ve faced. They become champions BECAUSE of the adversity they faced.

Most people want to take the easy path, avoiding obstacles at all costs. But the irony is that hardships (obstacles) will take us to where we need to be. If we never have to overcome difficulties, we won’t grow. Running towards the obstacle, and overcoming it, is the way to success.

Building a strong mind is instrumental to becoming successful. A strong mind is one that can endure hardships and overcome adversity over long stretches of time, one that is willing to make short term sacrifices for long term benefits, one that is always striving to improve.

Persist. Adapt. Grow. If you do this, and let go of your ego, you will not only survive, but you will thrive.

From Ben Bergeron in his book Chasing Excellence:

“It’s easy to compete with excellence when things are going your way; maintaining your composure when everything seems to be working against you is far more impressive…”

“After a bad performance, it’s natural to feel frustrated and emotional. It’s easy to say you’re turning the page, but it’s much harder to control the negative thoughts that want to drift back into your mind. Like everything else, it’s a skill that needs to be practiced every day.”

The bottom line is that mistakes will happen. Nobody is perfect. We have to be ok with making the occasional mistake, because if you don’t make any mistakes you’re not challenging yourself enough. What we want to eliminate is the easily avoidable mistakes…mistakes made from a lack of preparation, care, attention, or effort.

Are you going to let inspiration move you to action? Or will it be desperation that forces your hand?

Be proactive. When you feel inspired to do something, do it. Don’t procrastinate.

Follow your interests, passions, and dreams. Set lofty goals that get you excited and figure out how to achieve those goals. Don’t wait for life to pass you by, or to let a bad situation get so bad that it forces you to change (even if you’re not ready). Make moves from a position of strength, not a position of weakness (desperation).