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Be mindful of the opinions that you let in (this includes other people’s opinions, but also your own).

Don’t keep naysayers or pessimists around. Their attitudes and opinions will rub off on you if you let them. Instead, surround yourself with positive thinkers and doers. If you have trouble finding these people, look to books to aid in your pursuit. Read about Teddy Roosevelt, Marcus Aurelius, and Jesus. Read Dale Carnegie, Stephen Covey, and Jim Collins. Learn about innovators such as Thomas Edison, Nikola Tesla, and even Albert Einstein. Imagine learning lessons from history’s most influential minds and how they can positively impact your life.

Don’t forget to also be careful of what you tell yourself, whether it is positive self talk or negative. Remember, when things are going well, you’re never as good as you think you are, just as when things are going poorly you are never as bad as you think you are. There is always some element of luck involved in the result. It’s your job to control what you are able to control and let go of the rest.

“Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.” – Jim Rohn

Getting more degrees (formal education) usually means having more employment opportunities. Our current school system is set up to teach kids/young adults how to be employees.

What is more valuable than a college diploma is knowing how to self-educate. Reading about, learning, and implementing useful information can take you further in life than having some extra letters tacked on to the end of your email signature (B.S., M.S., etc). Being able to self-educate opens doors for you that others may not even know exist.

I know a lot of people with a college education who make less than those who never went to or didn’t graduate from college. Having a degree means that you know how to pass a test, but it does not tell a company that you know how to provide value for them.

I recently read the poem below that Coach John Wooden memorized and shared with others. It has to do with being a father and the impact that you have on your children/the impact that your children have on you. Being a relatively new father, this poem has inspired me to live my best life and to always try to act the right way, because my son is always watching…

A careful man I want to be —

a little fellow follows me.

I do not dare to go astray,

for fear he’ll go the self-same way.

I cannot once escape his eyes.

Whatever he sees me do he tries.

Like me he says he’s going to be —

that little chap who follows me…

He knows that I am big and fine —

And believes in every word of mine.

The base in me he must not see —

that little chap who follows me…

But after all it’s easier,

that brighter road to climb,

With little hands behind me —

to push me all the time.

And I reckon I’m a better man

than what I used to be…

Because I have this lad at home

who thinks the world of me

Don’t fall into the trap of “resulting.” Just because a certain outcome occurred does not mean that the decisions leading up to that outcome were correct. Don’t forget that luck, whether good or bad, often plays a factor in the result. It is important to understand the difference between your thought process/the actions you take and the result of those thoughts/actions.

Taking correct actions will lead to positive results more often than not. But taking the right actions does not guarantee success.

A common example is playing a bad hand at poker. You may have a low chance of winning the hand when the cards were initially dealt, but with a little luck, you may end up catching the card you needed to win on the River. This is what poker players refer to as “bad beats.” The end result was positive for you – you won the hand. But that doesn’t mean that you played the hand correctly/took the right actions.

If you focused only on the result of the hand, you would conclude that you should always play when you have that starting hand. You could go on, continuing to play those poor cards with a low probability of winning just because you won with them once (not taking luck into account). But if you don’t conflate your actions with results, you will end up better off in the long run.

Everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. We all have inner demons that we are battling. Some of what we face is self-inflicted, but other times we face issues with friends, family members, or other outside influences.

When facing tough times, some people are sharers and let you know what’s going on in their life, while others bottle their emotions up and don’t talk to anyone. Some people (most people) react poorly to adversity and stress. If they snap at you, it is easy to get mad at them. But we should not assume that we know their intentions when they act rightly or wrongly towards you. (By the way, there is no actual right or wrong, it’s just how you perceive it…what is “right” for you may be wrong for someone else, and vice versa.)

If you find yourself getting mad at how others are acting towards you, try the following steps…

1) Increase the length of the “pause” before you respond. This stems from the SPR (stimulus-pause-response) system that Dr. Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, suggested. Basically, instead of us getting caught up in the moment and reacting to a negative event, the longer we can pause after a stimulus, the more control we have over our response.

2) Try to think of their point of view. Did you actually do something wrong? You are not perfect. Now is not the time to get defensive. When things have “cooled down” talk with them about what is going on…could you have done something differently? Talking with them about this may give them the opportunity to realize that they may have taken out their frustrations on you. OR it can let you know what you may have done to trigger their response and you can work on eliminating that action, if appropriate.

3) Don’t be so easily offended. Just because someone else overreacts to something doesn’t mean that you should do the same. Today’s culture is one of outrage. It is the default for so many people…things that used to not affect us have now become terrible offenses that can get you fired. While you can’t control other people’s actions/emotions/feelings, you can choose yours. Choose to not be offended.

4) Understand that most people are not “bad” people. They aren’t purposefully trying to hurt you. As Napoleon Bonaparte said, “Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence.”

5) Lastly, try to be more compassionate. Forgive others. If you don’t find a way to forgive them, it not only affects your relationship with them, but it also breeds anger and resentment in your heart. It does you more harm to you than you probably realize. Ultimately, you’re always going to struggle with something, just like your neighbor, colleague, and family member is struggling with something. We all have our own battles. But what we can do is practice being a better person, a nicer person, a more forgiving person, and the world will be a better place for it.