Category: Uncategorized

“He who has found a why to live can bear almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

When the going gets tough, if you have a reason bigger than yourself to keep going, you can dig deep and continue pushing forward. If you have a “why” for what you want to do, it gives you hope and encouragement. If you don’t have a why (or a purpose), then when things get tough, you’ll be tempted to quit. Because if you don’t have a reason to do something and it’s causing you stress or pain, why would you continue doing that?

Find your “why.”

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt in his speech titled “Citizenship in a Republic”

It sounds weird saying it, but focus on what you have, not on what you don’t have. If you continually think of what you’re missing (not just for material “things,” but what a friend, coworker, or family member may be lacking, whether it be in mental fortitude, financial aptitude, etc), that becomes your main focus. You could have a great relationship where 90%+ of everything you’ve ever wanted is right in front of you and you could be happy about it, or you can focus on the last 10% and be upset. Nobody is perfect, including you, so don’t put your relationships with others, or put the possession of a material object, on a pedestal.

Your ideal version of the relationship is not realistic. Owning an item will not make you happy in the long term. It’s ok to dream, to share your dreams, and to work on them with others. But, at the end of the day, just remember that you can’t make anyone change and that you can’t buy happiness (via purchasing a material item). You can only change two things: yourself and your attitude. 

One last thing to leave you with…I’ve heard Tim Ferris’s quote this “equation” before and found it to be useful.

Happiness = Reality – Expectations

If you set realistic expectations, oftentimes reality will coincide with them, and you will be happy. If you expect things to go perfectly according to plan, you will often find yourself feeling frustrated when your reality does not meet your expectations.

You must use a blend of tactics to be the best leader that you can be. There is a balance of encouraging others and of critiquing them. You must give them the freedom to make reversible mistakes on their own, not micromanaging their every decision, but at the same time, step in before a situation gets out of control. If you are frustrated with them, you must find the balance of letting them know what is frustrating you, but doing so in a way that doesn’t paralyze them or make them fearful of making the wrong decision.

As a leader/teacher, you should be respected, not feared. The only fear that others should have of you is the fear of letting you down. To build respect, you must treat others right, say the right things, and do the right things. This also means that you need to have the courage to be disliked. You have to have uncomfortable conversations, calling others out when you feel that they are slacking or not performing their best work.

Always criticize in private, but praise in public.

Never gossip or talk about someone behind their back.

You should be willing to be brutally honest with others, if necessary, but pick and choose when to lay it all out on the table. If you constantly are tearing someone down, criticizing each mistake, but not reviewing the things that they are doing well, you can ruin a person’s confidence or build resentment.

There are many times in life where things don’t go as planned. This can be stressful, especially if you’re a “Type A” kind of person. You want things to be done in a certain way and in a certain order. But if it doesn’t? How do you react? Does it get you all bent out of shape?

I have found that the easiest way to deal with a situation is to stop and think, does this really matter? And the answer is usually maybe, but not really.

Everything that we do builds on one another. Every success and every failure is a chance to learn and grow. And unless there is an irreversible and incorrectable (I think I just made up that word) action, then it doesn’t truly matter. The stumbling blocks that feel big today will hardly be a memory in a month, let alone 10 years from now.

Try to keep things in perspective. Most things that we face on a day-to-day basis do not have a life-altering effect. That being said, it is our actions that define us. Make sure that you are acting in alignment with your moral values and make adjustments as needed along the way. Work on making the right decision always, but if you don’t, don’t beat yourself up. Learn from it and move on. Realize that nobody is perfect, no matter how much they seem to have their life together.

Lastly, if you feel that you did everything in your power to make things right and you still didn’t get the result that you want, realize that this happens in life. Go back and analyze what you did and how you can improve, but don’t dwell on the past. Do this once to learn from it, then clear it from your mind. Don’t change your ethics and cut corners, thinking that it will get you a better result. Because at the end of the day, you have to look yourself in the mirror and be ok with the decisions that you made. Focus on the actions/behaviors, not on the results, and remember to think to yourself, does this really matter?