Our ego is constantly getting in our way. If someone blames us for something, the first thing most of us do is defend ourselves (shielding our ego from being hurt). It’s a natural instinct, but it’s also wrong.
In his book, “Extreme Ownership,” former Navy Seal Jocko Willink talks about how we all need to take ownership of everything that happens in our lives. If we don’t like the result of what happened, it is up to us to make the necessary changes to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.
The best leaders take responsibility for that which has gone wrong, but hand out praise when things go right. A lot of times, we see the opposite happening. When things go well, the leader loves taking credit for the team’s success, but when things go poorly, they have no problem pointing blame elsewhere. Or sometimes the leader says they are taking responsibility for a negative result, but their actions or the manner in which they say they’re taking responsibility shows otherwise. We see right through their hollow words and learn that we can’t trust what they say.
Next time an issue arises at work or at home, try taking ownership of it. This will be difficult at first, but try it out. Do this consistently for a month and see how it goes. Chances are, you’ll end up earning more respect from your peers or spouse, and with that, they will want to work harder with you to achieve the team’s desired outcome in the future. If you only point out the faults of others, not only will they not like you, they won’t respect you or work hard for/with you. Earn their trust, their love, and their respect and you’ll go much further as a team. Do this by taking ownership and watch your relationships grow.