It’s easy to think that you’re always right. You can justify why you thought what you thought, why you said what you said, or why you did what you did. You forgive yourself for the times you were wrong. You have excuses (or make excuses) to pardon yourself.
But what happens when other people make mistakes or if they’ve wronged you? Are you so quick to forgive them? Do you make rash judgments on their actions, even though you don’t comprehend their circumstances?
There are two quotes – both by very respected men – thathelp me be more humble when I’m put in these positions.
The first is from Abraham Lincoln. Supposedly, someone was speaking poorly of the southerners during the Civil War, to which Lincoln replied, “Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”
The other quote is from Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
Both of these quotes remind me to have humility. When I’m “up on my high horse,” I need a reminder of this sometimes. The person who has wronged me usually is not doing it consciously and maliciously, but they’re just reacting. Would I have responded in the same way if I were in their shoes?
If I can remember that I can be taught something by anybody, then I should know that, at least in that subject, they have superior knowledge than I do.
I may have certain beliefs, but who’s to say those are right or wrong? I may change beliefs 10 years, 10 months, 10 days, or 10 minutes from now. The goal should NOT be to prove that I am right, but just like having a hypothesis in science, it should be to test the hypothesis to see if it stands up against many challenges. I should be challenging my thinking and constantly be trying to prove it wrong. The more times it holds up, the closer I am to being correct. But because there are infinite opportunities to try to prove it wrong (and I can only test so many), I should be careful to claim that “this is the only way” and that I’m right. When people claim their way is the only way, when they slam other people’s ideas or don’t even entertain the ideas outside of mainstream thinking, their hubris begins to show.