The way I see it, there are two ways to successfully face your fears. You can gradually/incrementally introduce yourself to your fears (taking baby steps – learning more about it first, then being around it, then facing it in an unimportant situation, then facing it more regularly) OR you can dive right in and surround yourself with them. The best approach depends on how devastating the outcome could be and what your mindset is.
If there are irreversible repercussions to you failing, then you should take the gradual approach. Read about what you are going to face, talk with other people who have conquered that fear, listen to books/podcasts/YouTube videos, etc. Then just go and be around whatever you have to face. You don’t need to face it yet, but the nearer you are, the more acclimated you’ll get. Start by going once per week then increase the frequency. As you become more familiar with the event, your fear levels will likely go down.
If the stakes are low if you fail/mess up, it’s probably best to just jump right in and learn on the fly. Learning is often done best by experiencing. Then you can still read, listen, talk with others, and watch others to learn more, but now you’ll have a better understanding of what they’re going through (because you’ve already been through a similar situation). You will speed up your learning curve by doing. Just make sure you have a growth mindset going into the event. You may not be good at whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish/conquer yet, but with enough practice you can/will get better.
What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? – Mark 8:36
As a competitive, ambitious, frugal, investor-minded individual who comes from humble beginnings, this graphic speaks to me.
The competitive side of me wants to be in the top 1% of everything I do (including financial-related goals).
The ambitious side of me wants to prove to myself, my family and friends, my acquaintances, etc. that I can do anything I set my mind to.
The frugal side of me wants to have the financial security money can bring.
The investor side of me hates waste and focuses on being as efficient as possible (like investing in assets and having my money work for me).
But when I think about what’s really important in life and what brings me the most joy, it’s not money…
I’m happiest when I’m hanging out with family – whether that’s at home, going on mini adventures to the zoo, watching our kids hang out with their cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents, or going on our yearly trips to Mohican, Hocking Hills, or the beach.
I’m happiest when I’m working out and competing with friends at the gym (whether or not they know I’m competing with them is up for debate).
I’m happiest seeing friends and playing board games with them for game night or going out and grabbing something to eat.
I’m happiest finding people homes to live in or to invest in and negotiating the best terms for them.
And when I think about all that makes me happy, I realize that I don’t need to always be chasing 💸…life is easier with money, to be sure. But as long as I’m keeping things in perspective and still able to enjoy life while pursuing money, that will be enough for me.
Don’t lose your family, friends, or health chasing money. Because in the end, what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?
The difference between good and great for most people is not talent or ability – it’s discipline.
Can you find the discipline to do what you don’t want to do, even though you know you need to do it? And the trick is, you can’t just do it once. You have to develop the habit to consistently do what you need to do and to make progress everyday.
Getting even 1% better everyday should be our goal. If we stay in our comfort zone, we will plateau early. But if we keep pushing the limits every day, in 10 years you will be amazed by how far you’ve come.
I hear people say all the time that you only should focus on “running your own race” and not worry about what anyone else is doing. I agree that you need to turn your attention inward to be happiest with your effort (and, if applied correctly, with your results).
BUT we’re human and most people thrive on competition among other similarly-skilled individuals. If you’re working out with someone or next to someone, you’re much more likely to push yourself a little more to keep up with or to beat that person.
Having intrinsic motivation will lead to better consistency (like getting out of bed and going to the gym when you don’t feel like it). External motivation will lead to better results (once you’ve gotten to the gym). So while you shouldn’t rely on always needing to have external motivation, it’s a nice way to enhance your results.
I saw this post from FinancialSimplified on Instagram and loved it. How many people spend above their means just to try to impress other people?
If you have the “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality, it’s going to take you a really long time to build wealth. And if you’re ok with that, that’s fine. But if you have children, maybe it’s time to shift that mindset. I say this for a few reasons…
1) It is your duty as a parent to live responsibly, and to teach your kids to live responsibly. This goes for health, work ethic, attitude, teaching them about money, etc. If you have bad money habits and idolize material things or trying to impress others with your new clothes, new shoes, new car, etc, what does that teach them?
2) You don’t have to leave your adult children anything. At that point, they should be self-sufficient. I remember my dad saying that when he passed away, he wanted his last check to bounce. I have the complete opposite mentality. When I pass away, I want to leave my kids with millions. As long as I’ve given them the proper financial background so they don’t blow the money, and I’ve raised them to be good human beings (moral, just, etc), I’d be more than happy to relieve any sort of financial burden from their shoulders. If you don’t have to worry about how you’re going to pay your bills, it gives you the freedom and creativity to try new things that can be more fulfilling.
We never know when we’re going to pass away. If you’re not financially set, or if your passing will create hardship for your significant other and your dependents, you need to have life insurance set up. It’s a small cost for you right now, but if you leave this earth without it, the people you love most will suffer the most – not only emotionally, but financially too. If you needed two incomes to pay for your house, child care, food, transportation, and general living, what kind of stress and struggle will your family encounter if you pass away and they’re left with nothing?
3) You owe it to yourself. Why is it that we love ourselves so much, we are all so selfish in a way, but we care about what other people think? Why should other people’s opinions of us matter when they don’t really even know us?
You know yourself. Are you buying that $500 fancy wallet to impress yourself, even if there is no money in it? If I did that, I would feel worse about myself. Why cave into others’ expectations? Why have no money left over to spend on an experience with my wife and kids? And, not only that, but you’ll feel like an imposter too. Sure, you look rich. But you’ll know that you don’t actually have the money to back it up.
Don’t go broke trying to look rich. Don’t try to impress people you don’t know, you don’t like, and who don’t have to deal with your poor financial decisions.
We all have to start somewhere. Live within your means. If people laugh, just know that as long as you keep saving and investing money, trying to increase your income constantly while it increasing your spending, you’ll eventually have the last laugh. You’ll get to retire early when they are still slaving away in their 9-5.
