10 tips for a happy life

To live a happy life, you need to do the following things:

1) Live in alignment with your values…if you do something that morally doesn’t sit well with you, it will haunt you. What do you value?

2) Only worry about what you can control. You can control your effort and behavior. You can control your thoughts and actions. You CAN’T control what other people think, say, or do. If you feel compelled, try to help them make what you deem “better decisions.” But realize you only can control yourself, no one else.

3) Understand that this moment is only temporary. Whether you’re expert the best or the worst day of your life, it’s temporary. Treasure the great days. Enjoy the time with your friends, your family, and even yourself. When something bad happens, understand that this is only a page (or a chapter) in your book. Tomorrow is a new day.

4) See the positive in any situation. Even when bad things happen, spin it around – how can you learn/grow from this?

5) Develop am attitude of gratitude. What you focus on grows. Focus on being positive and on seeing the positive, and your life will become more positive.

6) Don’t take life (or yourself) too seriously. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Often, we place too much emphasis on what is happening right now. “What if I don’t get an ‘A’?” “What if ‘X, Y, or Z’ does/doesn’t happen?” In the end, you’ll realize that cumulatively, yes, it all adds up, but individually it really doesn’t matter. Will you be on your deathbed and regret not getting a better grade in 8th grade math?

7) Smile and laugh everyday. Do it as often as you can. It will make you feel better.

8) Be healthy. A healthy body and a healthy mind will help keep your mindset positive.

9) Surround yourself with others who are generally, and genuinely, happy. You are the average of the five people with who me you spend the most time.

10) Be yourself. Do what you feel is right. Don’t try to “keep up with the Joneses” or impress other people…other people will come and go. But you have to live with yourself until your dying days. Be you. Love you. And don’t care about what other people think.

Taking the bitter with the sweet

So much of life is outside of our control – much of which is bitter. We set out to do something and we are quickly beset by challenges, by loss, by other people’s tendency to think about themselves over other people’s needs. Yet we continue on…not just because we have to (or ought to), but because we know what’s on the other side is wonderful: friendships, success, excellence, life-changing experiences.

If today ends up being another day where there is more bitter than sweet for you, try to remember what Theodore Roosevelt said. Say to yourself, “I am taking the bitter to get to the sweet.” Say, “It all balances out and I am lucky to have both when so many have neither.” In this way you will not only grow stronger and more able to endure any misfortune that comes your way, but you will also be more grateful for and appreciative of the gifts you are given as well.

Playing it safe is costing you

If you want to “play it safe” or to not be criticized, you can find ways to hide. Don’t take the shot. Don’t take the risk of losing, messing up, or looking foolish. Don’t play the game…

But if you do that, you limit how much you can grow and how great you can become. Each time you fail, you learn something. You grow. You become more anti-fragile. Use those failures as stepping stones for your success.

You can stay within your comfort zone, but by doing so, you’ll never reach your full potential.

Change and influence

Tony Gaskins was credited with saying, “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

I 100% agree with that statement. But I don’t want to just leave it at that. I would add that if you CAN do something about it, then do something. A lot of things are outside of our control, but inside of our influence. We have to take responsibility for our destiny by taking control of our effort and actions.

Did we try our best? Did we give it our all? Is something we’re doing (or not doing) helping produce the results we want? How is our mindset, our diet, exercise, and sleep? Are we learning new things? Are we feeling emotionally and spiritually fulfilled? What are we feeling anxious or stressed about and why?

It’s just like the Serenity Prayer…

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”