Tag: adversity

Adversity, self-improvement, and fulfillment

Challenge and adversity sucks when you’re in the thick of it. It can seem like the hardship will never end. But just like all good things must come to an end, so too must all bad things. Life goes on – it stops for no one and nothing.

The great part about overcoming adversity is that it tests you and lets you know what you’re really made of. When life seems too easy and you’re completely comfortable, we often lack the intrinsic motivation to strive for self-improvement. But when we face difficulties and need to get something done, often times you will rise to the challenge. How will we know our limits if we never challenge ourselves (or are not challenged by outside circumstances)?

Think about how you can push yourself today – how you can test yourself. Have you been living a soft, cushy life for too long now? If so, do you feel that you’ve come close to reaching your full potential or is there more to go? And the other, more important, question…do you even care to reach your full potential? There’s no judgment if you don’t. You need to feel fulfilled and only you can determine that.

Facing adversity to minimize entitlement

The sooner you can allow your children to experience adversity, the better off they will be. Ideally, they should face small problems/hurdles to overcome, with the hurdles gradually increasing as they are able to mentally and physically overcome them.

If you shield them from every pain, if you protect them from ever receiving negative feedback, they won’t be able to withstand even the slightest pain when they grow up. Imagine how embarrassing it will be when they are eight years old and still don’t know how to share toys/games. Or when they cry for not getting their way when they are nine. Imagine them being a poor sport when they lose a game because you always let them win.

They need to understand rejection, defeat, and not always getting their way. If you always cave in to every request (candy, buying them games, etc), they will expect life to do the same. But that’s not how life works and they will be in for a rude awakening when they finally figure that out. That’s why so many people who are entitled. They think they deserve something just because they are them. They weren’t taught proper manners and expectations at a younger age and have brought a child’s mindset to adolescence (and beyond).

Challenges

We all face obstacles in our lives, but how we choose to view them is the first step to overcoming them. Do you see this obstacle as your next challenge? Is it something else for you to defeat? Will this add to your life story (where you play the hero/victor)? Or is it more adversity happening to you. Do you let it get you down? (Are you playing the victim card?)

Everyone faces challenges in life. That’s just the way it is. And some people have the cards stacked against them way more than others. It’s not fair, but it is what it is. You have two choices. You can fight to overcome these challenges or you can be the victim and let them overcome you. Either way, the circumstances leading up to your decisions are the same. But the outcome can (and will) be very different.

You don’t have to ignore what has happened or is happening to you. That would be silly. But you don’t have to feed into the negativity either. Figure out how to make it better. Once you have a plan, follow through and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just don’t confuse asking someone to help you with asking for a handout…you need to bring forth effort to get yourself out of the hole you’re in, regardless of how you got there.

Using adversity as a positive

Adversity isn’t a stumbling block…it’s a stepping stone to success. Don’t let tough times get you down. Instead, use them to learn and take you to where you want to be!

It’s been said that there is no growth without discomfort. And there’s no doubt that facing adversity can be very uncomfortable. But if you realize that and make the most of any situation (good or bad), you will grow from it. You will always have that experience to remember what to do or what not to do, and the ramifications of your actions or inactions.

Protective parenting

Being a parent of young children, I finally understand why you have those overbearing, overprotective parents. As a parent, you never want to see your child hurting – whether physically or emotionally. But we have to accept that pain is part of life and we cannot (and should not) try to shield them from everything.

We want to protect our children, but the irony is that the best thing we can do is let them experience hardship. If you don’t let them experience any pain, they won’t be able to cope with facing more difficult circumstances.

One of the best feelings a person can have is overcoming adversity. Facing a stacked deck and still winning. Why would you want to take that away from them? There is no thrill in victory without the possibility of defeat. If you know that you can’t lose, what’s the point of playing the game? It becomes boring. The same goes for your children…

If you have children, let them struggle. Part of experiencing the highs in life is also knowing about the lows. Don’t jump in to try to save them from being able to know and understand both. Helping them right now can actually be hurting them in the future. But it’s important to start small and to start young. The more quickly they are able to stumble and fall, yet get back up, the better off they’ll be in the long run.