I read a quote/meme on LinkedIn recently that said, “Instead of prioritizing teaching kids to be resilient, we should focus on eliminating traumatic events.”
While I think that the person who said this is coming from a good place, I disagree with it wholeheartedly.
Absolutely, I wish there were less traumatic events in life. I wish there were no school shootings, I wish there was no bullying, etc, etc.
But we can’t control everything – including what others do, say, or think. If we don’t try to teach kids to build resilience by overcoming defeat and by seeing/facing traumatic experiences, eventually, trivial events will seem traumatic to them. If the worst thing that happens to them is they get a “B” on their report card, that will be considered traumatic to them. After all, nothing else bad has happened to them, so they have nothing else to compare it to. That becomes the most traumatic event in their life. How will they handle it? They can try harder, or they can play the victim card (which it seems is what society caters to).
We can’t stop death. What happens when a kid faces the death of a loved one? It’s already hard for them (and it always will be/should be). But if they have never encountered any challenges along the way, do you think they will be more or less equipped to handle it?
So, while I do want their to be less trauma in the world, I think it is imperative that we still focus on teaching/building resilience and mental toughness. As John F. Kennedy said, “Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.”
Life can be difficult. Instead of wishing for it to be easier (less trauma), make yourself stronger (mentally, physically, and emotionally) to handle it.