You are responsible for everything in your life. That doesn’t mean that you are to blame for everything, but if you want to get yourself out of a hole or a dark place, it’s ultimately up to you to do something about it. It’s not up to anybody else to make your life better. Yes, you can ask for help. You can hope someone comes along to make the path a little less treacherous. But you need to be the hero of your own journey – not the victim. Be the person who overcomes struggle and hardship. Let your experiences help you grow.
Tag: advice
Don’t be the reason you don’t achieve your dreams
We all will fail in life and the secret for many people’s success is that they’re willing to fail more often and more quickly than those afraid of failure. They understand that failing is a natural precursor to success. You have to try new things – different things – if you want to improve your life. Sometimes, you’ll have great intuition and choose the right action to propel you towards your goals. Sometimes you’ll get lucky. But almost always, if you fail to take action (or if you do the same thing over and over and expect a different result), you’re going to be stuck in the same place. So even though it may not look like you’ve failed from the outside looking in, is it true? Sure, you don’t have one moment to point to where something didn’t work out. But isn’t the end result of not achieving your dreams a bigger failure than swinging for the fences and occasionally striking out?
There are a lot of reasons why people don’t achieve their dreams, many of which are outside of our control. We can accept that because if we try to control everything (even things we have no power over), we will be fighting a losing battle. But what we can do is control our thoughts, words, actions, and attitude. We decide what we read, who we listen to, who we hang out with, and how we talk to ourselves. We decide what words to say (I can, I will, how can I?) and what words to not say (I can’t, I don’t know how, I give up). We decide whether we want to get up each morning when we say we will or whether we hit the snooze button and sleep in, or whether we follow through with what we said we would do. Are we generally happy and not complaining? Are we putting out positive vibes where others want to be around us or are we so negative that others actually feel worse after hanging out with us?
Don’t be the reason why you don’t achieve your dreams. Live intentionally. Plan your next steps and follow through with them. Think big and act big. You need to take enough action and occasionally swing for the fences instead of always playing it safe. If you don’t ever reach your lofty goals, that’s fine. But when you think back, have no regrets over why you didn’t achieve it. Give it your all, do it ethically and in a way that is true to you, and go from there.
Going through the motions only gets you so far…
Part of success and of achieving goals is being consistent. Taking consistent action is the foundation for nearly every successful person. Do you think Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Michael Jordan, or LeBron James would only work out or study tape when they felt like it? Or did they do something to improve themselves mentally and physically everyday? Their consistent actions of going to the gym everyday helped to get their body right and watching tape helped them understand defenses and get their mind right.
But just because you go to the gym everyday doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to get the results you want. That is part of the equation (a big part), but it’s not the only thing. But if you go to the gym and talk to people for a half hour then leave, are you going to achieve the physical goals that you set for yourself? Or if you are just “going through the motions,” and you don’t ever push yourself by trying to lift more weight, do more reps, take less rest period, or complete your routine in a faster time, are you really going to improve as much as you want?
Being present is great. It’s better than not being there. But don’t trick yourself or fall into the trap thinking that you’ve accomplished your goal just by being there. That’s part of the equation to success, but once you’re there, you need to put in focused, intentional work to achieve the results you want.
Influence, not force
We can’t make somebody do you anything. We can try to persuade them or influence them. We can try to use logic and appeal to their emotions. Studies show that people respond most to fear, but there are always the outliers who will respond better to the idea of pleasure.
The bottom line is that it’s not up to us. We don’t have to make someone say something, do some thing, or believe something. The only thing we can focus on is giving advice if they want it, speaking our opinion when the time is right, and hoping that the outcomes turn out the best for that individual.
5 Rules to succeed at the workplace
1) Be the hardest worker in the room. Get there first, leave there last, and be productive when you’re there. Work when you’re at work.
2) Question everything internally first. If a rule, a way of doing things, or a story doesn’t make sense to you, try to earnestly figure it out and come up with a solution. If you always question an authority figure out loud (and especially if you do it in front of others), it will be viewed as being disrespectful. But if you bring things to their attention when you don’t understand and you do it in private, they can respect that (as long as their ego is in check).
3) Be humble, yet confident. Let your actions and the results speak for you. Keep your head up, put a smile on your face, have good posture/don’t slouch, speak clearly/enunciate, speak loudly but not too loud, look at others in the eyes when you’re talking with them, and keep an open mind to changing/forming new opinions.
4) Don’t engage in gossip unless you are speaking positively about someone else/building them up. Never say something behind someone’s back that you wouldn’t say to their face. If you would say it to their face and it’s a big enough deal to bother you, bring that person aside and talk it out.
5) Stay in your lane, but be aware of what is happening in the lanes around you. Nobody wants someone in another department to butt in and tell them how to do their job. Focus on your tasks and your responsibilities. BUT, have a good understanding of what other departments do, what they do well and what they can improve upon. You don’t need to know how they do what they do, but if you want to rise in the ranks, you should at least know what they do.