Tag: advice

You’re not going to win

“It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.” – Bill Murray

When you’re in an argument or when you disagree with someone (especially about their opinion or in “gray” matters), how often do you ever actually say something that gets them to change their minds? It’s hard enough to convince them that you’re right using logic and facts, but when you are debating over something that doesn’t have a factually correct/incorrect answer yet and is based on speculation, you most likely aren’t going to “win” that argument.

This is why people say to not talk about sex, politics, religion, or money. Those topics are too emotionally charged. And what is right for one person may not be right for you. How they view the subject will likely be different than you, and discussing it leaves you open to having huge disagreements and arguments over something in which you won’t change their mind.

That being said, if you do get caught up in a debate, don’t take it personally. They believe what they believe and you believe what you believe. Don’t take offense to their opinion, which more often than not, have no bearing on your life. Why would you choose to get worked up over something that doesn’t actually affect you?

Follow through

One of the most underrated attributes has to be someone’s ability to follow though with doing what they said they would do.

Did you call the person back when you said you would?

Did you go work out when you said you would?

Did you get the piece of information you said you would?

There are so many things we “promise” we’ll do and then never actually do it.

Don’t be that person. Make your words mean something. Inspire confidence in other’s belief in you by rewarding them for doing so. If you constantly don’t do what you say you’re going to do, why should they believe you? Give them confidence to endorse you to their friends. The more you follow through, the easier it will be for them to think you’ll get it done.

A positive attitude

If you frame everything as a challenge to learn from, life will seem less overwhelming. If you frame a bad outcome like everything is going against you and the world has it out for you, it’s going to be a long life. Change your perspective and you will be much happier because everything is a learning opportunity – a chance foe you to get better.

Ask yourself…how will this obstacle help me grow and make me get better? What am I learning from this? Am I learning new things to avoid? Are there things that I should be doing better? Do I have blind spots that I was unaware of?

If you are able to remain positive, yet realistic, in the face of adversity, your mindset will set you up for greater success down the road. This is not saying you should be naive about what you’re facing, nor is it saying that things are always going to work out for the best, but whatever you focus on is going to be amplified. So if you focus on the positive, you’ll see the positive in things. If you focus on the negative, it will seem like everything is going wrong for you (even when you have a lot going in your favor).

Run towards something

Don’t just run away from something. Make sure you are running towards something else. For example, if you are leaving your job, you might be justified in doing so because you don’t like that job or you feel like the energy in the building is toxic.

But that doesn’t mean that wherever you are going is going to be better. You need to have excitement for where you are going. What are you running towards? Don’t only run away from something, but make sure you are purposefully and intentionally picking something you think you’ll like.

Now is your chance to take a chance. If you’re already switching jobs, why not try to do something you really want to do. If you enjoy it (and it pays you well), where’s the harm in trying?

Remove the clutter while adding healthy habits

Make one big decision that leads to others.

Create healthy habits and remove bad habits.

Pair two tasks to increase productivity (like, I’ll listen to an educational podcast or audiobook when I drive to my appaointments).

Create rules for yourself.

Pre-commit to your goals.

Use select accountability partners to reach your goals.