Tag: advice

How to deal with our own problems

There are legitimate hurdles and hardships we have to overcome on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis. But most of the hurdles we face in life are not unique to ourselves.

That problem with getting good grades? Or the person who has been bullying you? Something happened to you at work? Or your home life isn’t quite what you want it to be?

You are unique, but the problems you’re facing have been encountered (and overcome) by others.

The issue is when we pity ourselves. Then, it’s not just the obstacle we’re facing anymore. We’ve also added a self-imposed obstacle – our mindset. If we think we can’t do something, that we’re the victim in a situation, or that to overcome the original obstacle will be difficult, it will be!

Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on solutions! Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive. Have faith that you will prevail, try to find answers, and start taking action. Don’t feel bad for yourself and realize that plenty of other people have been in a similar situation as you and they’ve been able to survive/thrive. You can too!

Are you productive? Or are you just busy?

Don’t confuse busyness with productivity. Work on things that matter/move the needle. Don’t spend time on the trivial…eliminate that which isn’t necessary for you (or anyone) to do, automate that which can be automated (have A.I. help), and delegate that which needs to be done but not necessarily by you.

If you want to grow, you will HAVE to learn how to do these things. We all only have so much time and energy during the day. If we spend all of it doing things that don’t bring us closer to our goals, we are leaving a lot on the table.

Being busy is not necessarily the same as being productive. How can you minimize the busy work and focus on doing the most meaningful and/or dollar-productive work?

Using emotions to your advantage

Use anger and frustration to your advantage. Yelling at others and demeaning them never helps a situation. Getting so worked up that you can’t function properly never helps a situation. Even being passive aggressive toward those around you when you’re frustrated doesn’t help.

What good is you being mad at something going to do? What good is going to come from it? Instead, if or when you feel frustrated, treat it as an opportunity. How can you spin a negative situation into a positive one? Is there something that you can do to make it better? Are others feeling the same way as you?

Perhaps you can start a mastermind group to figure out ways to combat this. Or maybe you can develop an answer and monetize it. That way you are not only solving a problem for yourself, but also for others, and getting paid to do so. Maybe there is no true answer and you just need to work on handling your emotions better.

If you allow something to get you so worked up that it ruins your day, that’s on you. Either learn how to deal with it (emotionally) or create a solution for it. Whenever you’re frustrated, ask yourself, what can I do to make this better? Then go do it.

Be 100% where you’re supposed to be

When you’re at work, be at work. Have a work mentality. How can you be the best employer/employee, manager/leader, etc. Have your mind on your work. Focus on the task at hand.

When you’re at the gym, be at the gym. Have a gym mentality. How can you get better today than you were yesterday? Have your mind on the sets, reps, technique, movement, breath work, etc. Focus on the workout.

When you’re at home, be at home. Have a family mentality. How can you be the best husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, father/mother, brother/sister, pet-owner, friend, caretaker of the property, etc. Do you need to spend more time playing, reading, maintaining (the house), etc? Focus on being at home and leave the other stuff behind you.

Wherever your body is, make sure your mind is 100% there as well. Learn to compartmentalize your life. A “balanced” life is not being partially present in every aspect of life. It’s being fully present where you are and making sure you spend enough time with each aspect daily/weekly/monthly.

Project your attitude

When you greet someone, say “hello” cheerfully and smile. Look them in the eyes. Have a firm handshake. Stand up straight. Keep your head up and your shoulders pulled back. Project confidence. Project happiness.

People want to work with and be around people who are magnetic. The list above is something that can help you be magnetic, even if you don’t feel like you are. Nobody wants to be around a negative/pessimistic person with low confidence.

The other thing you want to do is try to make others feel better. If they feel great every time they leave a conversation with you, they’ll want to continue to have more conversations with you. Be uplifting, but don’t be a pushover. Be agreeable, but not too agreeable. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind/tell the truth, but do it in a constructive way. Have a positive attitude and they’ll know that any criticism is coming from a good place (you trying to help).