advice | The Caleb Barney Collection

Action —> Competence —> Confidence —> Success

Taking action will help increase your competence, which will give you more confidence. The more confident you are, the more likely others will be drawn to you, increasing your likelihood of success.

If you want to be successful in anything, it all starts with taking action. Whatever you are afraid of, that’s probably what you need to do. Charge towards your fears or what is difficult for you. Chances are, it’s difficult for others as well, and when you’re willing to do what others aren’t, you’ll see results that they won’t get. Take action. Ryan Holiday paraphrases a famous Marcus Aurelius quote (shown below) with the title of his best-selling book, “The obstacle is the way.”

The obstacle is the way — “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” – Marcus Aurelius

If you’re afraid of prospecting for new clients, that’s probably because you are uncomfortable doing it and you need to do it. You have to take action to actually get better at it. The more you practice something, the more competent you’ll become, and the more competent you become, the more confidence you will earn.

It will be difficult to make the decision to deliberately put yourself in a position where you might fail, but you must do this. It is the only way to get better quickly. You can read or talk with others who have done it before you all you want, but eventually YOU need to take action. The sooner you realize this and start doing it, the quicker you can achieve your dreams.

Strategy is the determining factor for dreams and nightmares

“Without hard work, a great strategy remains a dream. Without a great strategy, hard work becomes a nightmare.” – James Clear

Nothing will get done without someone rolling up their sleeves and making it happen.

Reading about ideas isn’t very difficult, although not nearly as many people read as they should.

Thinking about ideas is a little harder, as you have to give yourself time to think and permission to think of ideas that may fail on the first several iterations.

Actually working to complete an idea is the hardest. A lot of people read about ideas or talk about ideas, but never act on them. Taking action is the hardest of the three and usually requires the most effort.

But, while I agree that working hard will help take you far, what if you’re working towards the wrong thing?

If you don’t have the right strategy, your work ethic can only take you so far. You are only as good as your strategy.

For example, say you want to build a business. You can work really hard at building your website, making a logo, looking into forming an LLC, and interviewing an assistant, but if you haven’t come up with a strategy to find customers, you’re going to fail. In this scenario, you can easily put in 40, 60, or even 80 hours per week and not see any results that are helping to keep your startup in business.

Figure out what is important to you (what your goals are) and then come up with a relevant strategy to help support those goals. Otherwise all of your hard work will become a nightmare.

There are no shortcuts worth taking in the long run

There are no shortcuts worth taking in the long run. Of course, this is metaphorically speaking. I’m sure you could find actual examples of shortcuts that are beneficial to you. But in the way of thinking of trying to avoid putting in the hard work, it is almost always better that you go through that tough experience instead of trying to skirt around it. The hardships will help to develop you as a person.

So instead of cheating to get an A in a class or on a test, study hard and earn that A. That way you’ll actually learn the material and be able to use it in the future.

Or instead of taking steroids to get strong really quickly, build your body over time. It will be safer and better for your overall health.

Instead of lying or taking credit when you don’t deserve it at work, tell the truth and you’ll earn more respect. Share the credit with others when it is due to them. Be humble in your successes and gracious in your defeats.

Learn to enjoy the journey instead of only focusing on the destination. When you stop and pay attention, you’ll realize that the trials and tribulations you experience along the way are some of your best learning lessons.

On receiving advice

“Advice is one thing that is freely given away, but make sure that you only take in that which is worth having.” Excerpt from The Richest Man in Babylon

Everyone has an opinion on something and most people want to share their opinions, no matter how much or how little knowledge they have on the subject. It is important to keep an open mind, to be respectful, and to listen to other’s ideas, opinions, and advice.

But before you accept their advice and start putting it into action, try to understand if the source from which you’re receiving the advice is credible to listen to. Do they have first-hand experience in what they’re recommending to you? Are they intimate with someone who does? How far removed are they from the successes or failures of those opinions?

Be sure to always think for yourself. Use your critical thinking skills and try to play out best-case and worst-case scenarios on your head. Try to analyze the risks versus the rewards, and the likelihood of either of those extremes (as well as the middle-ground). Play devil’s advocate and try to punch holes in their advice. Does it still hold up?

In the end, understand that you can spend all day analyzing and not take any action. We all know someone who can see the faults of every decision, but is too afraid to make a decision of their own. Don’t be one of those people. Take actions (especially when it comes with asymmetric risk), learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward.

Courage to look within

Have the courage to face your weaknesses. Where are you lagging behind? What faults do you have? What mistakes do you repeatedly make? How can you improve in these areas?

Have the courage to admit you were wrong. It will be hard to look in the mirror instead of pointing out the faults of others. Or to admit your mistakes without caveats or giving excuses…just own them. Don’t say, “I only did this because…” or “I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t do this.” That’s not admitting your mistake, not really.

Focus on your actions and how you can improve the situation, not on what you did right and what the other person did wrong. Don’t go in with the idea of having an “unwritten and unspoken agreement” (something in your head only) that when you apologize for X, the other will/should apologize for Y. That’s not how it works. Be sorry when you’re sorry. If you only use the words but don’t actually mean it, others will eventually see through it.