You should always strive to have a mentor and be a mentor. Doing this will allow you to understand that a) you don’t know everything and b) you have a lot of knowledge to pass along to ease the path of someone else. Having a mentor should keep you humble, yet being a mentor can help to boost your confidence. It should put you in a mindset to learn and a mindset to teach. It should let you give in addition to receiving.
Tag: advice
Five things to always work on for self-improvement
Things to always work on…
1) Do not get defensive. If someone is critical of you, listen to them. There is probably at least a grain of truth that you are blind to.
2) Do not make excuses. If something didn’t go your way or there was an accident, sincerely apologize. Don’t diminish your apology by then giving an excuse for why it wasn’t your fault. Some things will always be outside of your control, so focus only on what you can influence.
3) Eliminate can’t from your vocabulary. Sure, there are some things we literally can’t do (I can’t teleport, read minds, or fly). But, for the most part, when we say we “can’t” do something, it’s because we’re not willing to make the necessary sacrifices to do that thing. It’s more like we won’t do that or we haven’t prioritized that.
4) Be nicer. Treat others how they would like to be treated. Find ways to help others get what they want.
5) Do not avoid difficult situations/conversations. Life is full of tough decisions. The best way to live without regret is to have the courage to face your fears. Always act in alignment with your core values.
Being a perfectionist…
Don’t aim for perfection. To claim that you’re a perfectionist…it’s not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not admirable. Being a perfectionist STOPS you from achieving because nothing will ever be perfect. That’s why there’s a common phrase, “DONE is better than perfect.” Otherwise you’ll keep waiting for perfect and never get anything done…
If you really want to move forward and achieve your goals more quickly, you will do something to the best of your ability and submit it. After getting feedback of what worked and what didn’t, you’ll modify your actions – tweaking what did work to slightly improve it, and eliminating or changing what didn’t work. You’ll get those results back and continue the process.
The goal should be not to “never fail,” but instead to fail quickly. The word “fail” here is not meant to be permanent. If you fail and then never try anything again, then, yes, it’s a failure. But if you fail and use that information to get better/move you closer to your goals, it was actually a success.
4 requirements to have a great relationship with your significant other
1. Show them that you want to be with them. Be interested in their stories. Pay them sincere compliments. Make them feel good about themselves and make them feel desired. Ask yourself, are most of your interactions with them positive, negative, or neutral (the silent killer)?
2. Show them appreciation. When they help you, make sure you point out the specifics about how their actions have made your life easier or improved your life in some way. Never forget to thank them and do not take their helpfulness or thoughtfulness for granted. Ask yourself, when was the last time you thanked them for doing something “expected?” Do you still thank them for picking up the groceries, folding the laundry, or taking out the trash? Yes, those things need to be done. But maybe you should be the one to do those things (or, at the very least, say thank you when they get done).
3. Show them respect. Never get into a name-calling argument. Even if you disagree with their opinion or action, approach them with respect. Don’t roll your eyes, make snarky remarks, or make audible sounds (like sighing) to express your disapproval. Avoid being passive aggressive and instead be respectfully upfront with them. Have you noticed yourself doing any of these things? Stop it. And if you do catch yourself doing it, apologize right then and there.
4. Show them love. You can want to hang out with someone, but not love them. You can appreciate what they do for you, but not love them. You can respect someone, but not love them. Even though your significant other should be a treasured friend, don’t lump them into the “friend zone” with everyone else. Show them love and speak their love language. When was the last time you showed your significant other affection? When was the last time you hugged them, kissed them, or…(you get it)? Maybe their love language isn’t physical touch. You could try other things like getting them a gift “just because” or writing them a note each morning. Try different things, but always show your love for them and your relationship stands a good chance of not only surviving, but thriving.
Accidentally choosing mediocrity
In my quest to be great at all things, I become mediocre in them. I have to choose…just like I can’t reach my peak strength while also having the best endurance, I must prioritize what is most important to me. Do I want to be a powerlifter, a bodybuilder, or a marathoner? If I choose to be all three that’s fine. It may be the best overall for my health (being well-rounded), but I will limit my success in all of them by choosing to do all three simultaneously. If I want to compete to be the best in any of them, I must focus on only one.
One way to try to circumvent choosing only one is to have overlap in the things in which I want to be great. Figure out what each thing has in common…do they have similar training schedules so I’m not spending more time, effort, or money than I need to? If I can maximize my efficiency and effectiveness, I may be able to reach my potential in multiple tasks at once. But if they are very different (requiring different skill sets, training schedules, etc.), I will be limited by my resources (time, energy, money) and not be able to compete as well as I want.