Don’t make excuses. Don’t catch yourself complaining to others or to yourself. You may get sympathy from others when you complain, but wouldn’t you rather have their respect? You’ll never gain somebody’s respect by complaining. Deal with the situation and move on. Don’t be the victim.
Tag: advice
Let your body lead (how to artificially produce confidence)
Act confidently to think confidently. This then feeds itself and turns into a never-ending cycle. It’s like the old adage says… Fake it until you make it.
It’s amazing what your body can trick your mind into believing. You can know what you’re talking about, but if you act meek or shy, if you don’t keep good posture, a smile on your face, or walk tall, if you have a limp handshake and don’t look people in the eyes, you’re not inspiring confidence in yourself. People around you see it and you feel it. It’s tough to get out of that cycle. People will be less likely trust you with big decisions, and if you run into the wrong people, they’ll look to take advantage of your lack of confidence.
Meanwhile, if you act confidently, speaking with purpose (loud, but not too loud; crisp; relatively quickly, but not too fast; with energy and enthusiasm, but not so much as to annoy the other person listening), keep your head up, your shoulders pulled back, look people in the eyes, you dress the part, and you genuinely sound like an expert, you’ll see much more success. People will be drawn to you.
Bottom line: act how you want to feel. Your body will lead the way.
Bitterness and holding grudges
Never wish ill will on anybody. Don’t hold grudges. Be positive. If someone wronged you in years past, forgive them. Wishing them unhappiness means that you still have bitterness in your heart. Let it go. You will be happier for it.
The key to success
Knock down/remove as many barriers as possible to achieve success. But make sure you’re the one removing the obstacles and not just letting someone do the hard work for you.
The more barriers you have, the less likely you are to reach your goal. For example, say you want to lose 50 lbs. If you don’t have workout attire, you’re less likely to go…
If you live far away from the gym you chose to be a member…
If you don’t have a support system/someone to hold you accountable…
If you are surrounded by junk food (you have it in your house, you go down the aisle in the store with it, etc.)…
REMOVE BARRIERS.
Attributes
Below is a list of attributes I want for myself and to instill in my children:
Perseverance, optimistic, not easily discouraged/embarrassed, not afraid of failing, mentally and physically tough, setting a goal and working towards it, ok with asking questions, hungry to learn, love competition, focused on the most important next action steps, forward thinking, not procrastinating, curious, willing and able to give effort every day, love and enthusiasm for life, understand big picture concepts, think outside the box, grateful, happy, kind to others
And this is a list I want to avoid:
Complainer, negative, judgmental, rude, entitled, lazy, can’t think for yourself, not willing to try/learn new things
I’m sure there are more items I can add to both lists, but this is the general gist of what I strive for everyday. The other key is to surround yourself with people who share similar values. You become the average of the people you hang out with most. Don’t let it be someone who only brings negative drama to your life.