Tag: advice

Building a buffer for less stress

Build a buffer into your day.

If you schedule everything so strictly, filling every hour of your day, you’re going to feel much more stress. Because if you go over time in one thing, it’s like a domino effect. One thing affects another, which affects another. Next thing you know, the schedule for your entire day is “off” and you feel like you might as well throw your schedule out the window!

You need slack in the line. If everything is so tightly scheduled and rigid, you are setting yourself up for a much more stressful (and probably less successful) day. If you think something is going to take an hour and a half, give yourself two hours to do it. Not everything will be perfect. There will be distractions or things you didn’t anticipate. That is why having that time buffer in place is so crucial.

Don’t stress yourself out. Plan a buffer.

Making memories

“It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.” – Anne Sexton.

My dad was a great man. I would say so and I believe that many other people would say so too. My dad passed away when I was just 28 years old, 4 months away from me becoming a first time father myself. He taught me many things in the 28 years that I was by his side. I attribute who I am today because of the values that my mother and father instilled in me from a young age. I will always remember him as one of the greatest men that I’ve ever known.

This brings me to my thought of the day, which is to not take your time with loved ones for granted. Whether it’s your mom, dad, sister, brother, husband, wife, children, friends, or extended family – it doesn’t matter what their title is. Try to see them whenever you can. Try to do things with them. Make memories. If we outlive our loved ones, the only thing we have left are the memories we made with them.

If you can’t spend time with them regularly, reach out to them. Call them just to have a conversation and catch up. You’ll never regret making time for the ones you love, and you never know how long they will be in your life.

Lastly, try to express to them how much they mean to you. It can feel weird and vulnerable, but it will be worth it. If you pass away before them, they will know how you felt about them (and vice versa). It’s comforting, even though they are not with you anymore.

So that’s today’s thought of the day. I hope it inspires you to become more connected with others and not take your time for granted with them. I also hope that it makes you want to take action. Because the decisions you make on how you spend your time each day will determine how many memories you can make with others.

Withholding judgment

Don’t hold other people to your standards. It’s their life, not yours. Be happy for them if they’re happy with the decisions they’ve made.

When you judge others based on their decisions, it is often coming from a place of resentment. Whether you resent them for doing something you wish you could do or whether you disagree with their lifestyle, either way, judging them won’t make them change and only presents downside to you. Judging others never brings you joy. Eliminate judging and complaining for a better day.

I get to enjoy my life (it’s a choice)

So much of your happiness in life is about how you frame the events around you. Jon Gordon talks about the power of positive thinking through mindset shifts. By telling yourself that you get to do something, not that you have to do it, you are reframing the same event by thinking of it as a positive experience instead of a negative one. It’s how you choose to think about it.

For example, say you just had a great weekend with your family and friends. But here comes Monday morning. You don’t want to go to work. But instead of thinking, “I have to go to work today and I don’t want to,” reframe it to think how you get to go to work and make a living, when others are physically or mentally unable to do so.

Or say you are thinking about skipping the gym. You hate having to work out. Once again, that’s the wrong attitude. Instead, choose to think about how you get to work out so you can live a longer, healthier life.

You get to give your kids a bath, when some people want kids of their own but can’t have them…

You get to go to your parents house for dinner, when other people have lost one or both parents…

The examples are never ending, but no matter the circumstances, it always comes down to how you think about the event/task/situation. It is always a choice for you to make – to be content/grateful or to be upset.

Next time you find yourself thinking that you have to do something, stop and say, “no, I get to do this.” Retrain you’re thought process. Start thinking about how lucky you are. Don’t take things for granted and the happiness you experience in life will improve.

Where is the knowledge?

“Where is all the knowledge we lost with information?” – T.S. Elliot

We are so inundated with information, most of which is irrelevant, that we lose the part that is actually important – the applicable knowledge.

Don’t confuse the two. Start/continue to listen to audiobooks and podcasts, to read articles and books, and to try to learn as much as possible, but make sure you occasionally take a step back and figure out if you’re just consuming noise (information), or if what you’re letting in will help you. Then apply what you’ve learned. The best teacher is experience. You can read as much as you want, but you need to actually start “doing” to gain a complete knowledge of a subject.