Tag: advice

Fitting in? Or being different?

“Different is better when it is more effective or more fun.” – Tim Ferriss

Embrace being different. Everyone is different in their own ways, but don’t be different just to get attention. Be different because you actually believe in what you’re doing and saying. Be different because that’s the real you and you are enjoying being yourself. Do things differently than the majority because you are striving to improve your life in some sense. Why would you try to be the same as everyone else? Why blend in with the crowd to the point where you’re completely unnoticed?

“Tetris teaches us that when you try to fit in, you’ll disappear.” – Alexus Pajitnov

I love one quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger. He said, “The worst thing I could be is the same as everyone else.” I believe that. Let’s look at some stats to see what “everyone else” is doing and why it’s better for your health to do the opposite…

The United States has an obesity rate of about ~35% and has an additional ~35% of the population is considered overweight. So you are considered to be overweight if you’re the “average” U.S. citizen. Why are we getting so big? If you listen to what everyone usually says, it’s because they have no time to work out or that eating healthy is too expensive.

Well, according to a Nielsen report, in 2017, the average citizen watched about 4 hours of tv per day! Yet somehow they have “no time” to work out, to cook a healthy meal, or to work on our physical fitness in a meaningful way.

Why would you want to follow the herd in this case? Why be “normal?” People will think that you’re weird if you work out daily, if you order a salad when going out to eat, or if you’re not up to speed on the latest Netflix series. You need to be ok with that. Because you aren’t being different just to be “weird.” You’re being different because you have found a better way to improve your life…a way that is more effective AND more fun.

People will call you crazy (sometimes to your face, other times behind your back). But who cares what other people think about YOUR life? Who should care the most about the quality of your life? You. And who can influence the outcome of your life the most? You. Don’t live your life only seeking the approval of others, otherwise you’ll never be happy.

Sharpening the saw

Just like the analogy of “sharpening the saw,” you need to take time to sharpen your body and mind. Take the time to prepare for the future. When you a sharpening the blade of a saw, you may feel unproductive because you’re not actually “using” the saw to cut something down. But, in reality, you’re being extremely productive. Because of you being proactive in sharpening the saw, it ensures that when you do go to use it, it will be more efficient and cut more effectively with less energy being expended.

This is why it is important to work on “sharpening” your body and your mind. Eating healthy foods, working out, and stretching (which I enjoy the least, but need the most) are a few ways to sharpen your body. Reading, writing, drawing, painting, doing puzzles, building things, and meditating are ways you can sharpen your mind.

By working on yourself today, reducing your weaknesses or improving your strengths, you prepare yourself for the work of tomorrow to be easier. If your training is harder than the actual event, the event will seem easy to you and you’ll be able to perform better than the competition.

Capacities

Be careful not to judge other people’s capacity to do/withstand something. Not only are there different types of capacities/limits, such as mental, physical, or emotional capacities, but everyone is different in what their capacities are for each type. For example, you may be incredibly strong physically, but maybe you’re overburdened at home and your emotional capacity is very low.

Another thing to realize is our capacities are fluid, as they are constantly changing depending on what is going on in our lives. Maybe you just lost your job, your significant other decided to leave you (taking the dog too), and you were diagnosed with cancer. While your emotional capacity may normally be very high, you would probably be at the tipping point where even something very small which would normally not affect you makes you break down and cry.

These are just a couple of reasons why you should not judge others, but especially if you don’t have a good understanding of who they are and what their typical capacities/capabilities are. What you see from others is only a snapshot for where they are at any one particular time in their life.

Instead of judging others before you really get to know them, default to giving people the benefit of the doubt. They can be down one day, or even for a brief period in time, but after you’ve gotten to know them and their story, eventually you will have a better understanding of what their typical capacities are.

Just like anything else, we all have the ability to strengthen and improve each capacity. Are you working on improving yours? If you’re working with someone, or partnering with them, do you know if they are willing to work on improving theirs? You should not focus on where you (or others) are currently, but on where you (and they) are going based on their daily actions.

3 yards at a time

I was listening to a podcast the other day when I heard the host make a football analogy for business success. He said, “if you just focus on getting 3 yards at a time, and you keep doing that every single play, you’re going to win the game. But if you keep dropping back to throw a Hail Mary every play, you might get it sometimes, but you’re going to fail a lot more often than not. That is how you’re going to lose the game.” And it got me thinking about how this applies to business, health, and every area of life.

We’ve all seen the people who swing for the fences because of some get rich quick scheme but lose their shirts. Or the people who are very intense with a fad diet, but yo-yo and go from being very strict to not adhering to their diet at all.

Focus on winning just a little bit each day. Start out with your mornings. Try to win your morning today. After that, try to win the afternoon. With your momentum being built, next thing you know, you’ll find that you’ve won the day. And once you string together enough days where you’ve won, you will set yourself up for enormous success.

Good vs nice

There is a difference between nice people and good people. A person can appear nice or even charismatic, but actually be a “bad” person. That’s not always the case, in fact, if someone appears nice they usually are good as well. But you should not confuse the two. Let me explain…

Good is more important than nice. Being good involves making the best decisions with the information at hand, even when those decisions may not be the most popular. This means that being good may involve telling somebody something that they do not want to hear, but need to hear. Meanwhile, in order to be considered nice, sometimes you may hide the truth to avoid a difficult discussion, embellish facts to make someone feel good, or verbally agree to something someone else believes in, so that you don’t hurt their feelings or cause conflict.

Be nice and good whenever possible. But when push comes to shove, choose being good over being nice.