Tag: attitude

Control the controllables

Here is what you can control: Your effort. Having the best attitude in the room. Not complaining. Being a good listener. Being able to take criticism. Working harder than anyone else. Researching and trying to figure out ways to become the best. Being a good student.

Things you can’t control? Results/outcomes. What other people do, think, or say. “Luck.”

Focus all of your energy and attention on the things you can control and don’t let the things you can’t control get you up or down. They are what they are. If the ball bounces the right way for you, great! But don’t expect things to go well for you if you’re not putting in the work.

If you did what you felt are the right things and didn’t get the result you wanted, don’t dwell on it. Allow yourself a short period of reflection to see if your decisions and actions were actually correct. If they were, continue to do that and work hard with a positive attitude. Eventually things will go your way. If your actions, while made with the best intentions, ended up being incorrect or ineffective, keep that in mind and change how you act in the future to help produce a better end result.

Management

If you are in a position to manage others, there are two major mistakes to avoid. The first is micromanaging. If you have capable people working for/with you, they have good ethics, they have produced results in the past, and they know what the near-term and long-term goals are for themselves and the company are, do not constantly be looking over their shoulder. Don’t step on their toes! Let them do what they know best. But it’s good to keep the lines of communication open. You should still have regular check-ins to see how they’re doing, if they need help/another opinion on how to do something, etc. When you micromanage, you take away not only their sense of autonomy, but you also remove accountability from them. After all, they are only following your orders when you tell them every single thing to do.

The opposite is also a problem though, which is to becomes so hands-off that those you are managing don’t think you know what’s going on. If you’re not present, don’t talk with them regularly, or aren’t in any meetings with them, when you go to make a suggestion they are much more likely to disregard your suggestions. You become an outsider at that point, not a team member, a leader, or a manager.

Aim to strike a healthy balance between the two forms of communication. Guide them, but let them be the heroes. Ask them questions so they can think of how to improve a situation. Monitor their results and be prepared to step in if you feel they will do something that may have catastrophic/irreversible results. But, ultimately, keep in mind that people will work hardest for you when they like what they do, when they’re engaged/interested, when there is mutual respect between themselves, their manager, and their co-workers, and when they feel you have their back.

Attributes

Below is a list of attributes I want for myself and to instill in my children:

Perseverance, optimistic, not easily discouraged/embarrassed, not afraid of failing, mentally and physically tough, setting a goal and working towards it, ok with asking questions, hungry to learn, love competition, focused on the most important next action steps, forward thinking, not procrastinating, curious, willing and able to give effort every day, love and enthusiasm for life, understand big picture concepts, think outside the box, grateful, happy, kind to others

And this is a list I want to avoid:

Complainer, negative, judgmental, rude, entitled, lazy, can’t think for yourself, not willing to try/learn new things

I’m sure there are more items I can add to both lists, but this is the general gist of what I strive for everyday. The other key is to surround yourself with people who share similar values. You become the average of the people you hang out with most. Don’t let it be someone who only brings negative drama to your life.

Challenges

We all face obstacles in our lives, but how we choose to view them is the first step to overcoming them. Do you see this obstacle as your next challenge? Is it something else for you to defeat? Will this add to your life story (where you play the hero/victor)? Or is it more adversity happening to you. Do you let it get you down? (Are you playing the victim card?)

Everyone faces challenges in life. That’s just the way it is. And some people have the cards stacked against them way more than others. It’s not fair, but it is what it is. You have two choices. You can fight to overcome these challenges or you can be the victim and let them overcome you. Either way, the circumstances leading up to your decisions are the same. But the outcome can (and will) be very different.

You don’t have to ignore what has happened or is happening to you. That would be silly. But you don’t have to feed into the negativity either. Figure out how to make it better. Once you have a plan, follow through and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just don’t confuse asking someone to help you with asking for a handout…you need to bring forth effort to get yourself out of the hole you’re in, regardless of how you got there.

Thoughts -> Words -> Actions -> Life

Your thoughts determine your perception of life and the outcome of your successes and failures. Change your thoughts. Change your words. Change your actions. Change your life.

Not: I need to do this.

But instead: I want to this this.

Not: I have to do this.

But instead: I get to do this.

Not: I should have done that.

But instead: I could have done that.

Not: I didn’t have time to do that.

But instead: I didn’t prioritize my time to do that or I didn’t make time to do that.

Not: I can’t do that.

But instead: How can I do that?