Being a boss? Or being a leader

Gary Vaynerchuk’s illustration of the difference between being a “boss” and being a leader. ​
Gary Vaynerchuk’s illustration of the difference between being a “boss” and being a leader.

You can be a natural leader, where you inspire others to do their best and help the team reach its goals, without being in a leadership position. You can lead with quiet confidence or be outgoing. There are many styles of leadership, and some styles work better depending on the circumstances. For example, you can have a great wartime leader, but in times of peace, that person’s words or actions may not resonate with those whom they are leading. Or you can have a terrific peacetime leader, but when times get tough, their voices may be too soft to motivate others to believe in the cause.

Regardless of the type of leader you are (or you follow), the best leaders typically find ways to help you grow. They don’t do the work for you, but they help by asking you the right questions and letting you find your way.

Bosses, on the other hand, can be leaders or they can be tyrants. Bosses can still get things done over threat of power or anger, but they don’t win any loyalty from their subordinates. In fact, instead of people going above and beyond, they will often only do the bare minimum for a boss. Other than the intrinsically motivated optimist, why should anyone bust their butt for someone who is always the first to blame others when things go wrong, who takes credit when things go right, and who doesn’t treat their employees with respect?

If you are fortunate enough to be promoted, make sure you work to be the best leader you can be and don’t just be another “boss.”

Be the thermostat, not the thermometer.

Be the person who sets the tone by their actions, thinking proactively, instead of the person who is reactive to everything around them. The thermostat sets the temperature, while the thermometer tells you what the temperature is and has no influence over it.

Don’t let someone else set the temperature for you. You can only control so much in life, but some of the things you can control are what actions you take, your attitude when you take them, and how you respond to external events. Be more like the thermostat, not the thermometer.

Keep your eyes on the goal

“Obstacles are the things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.” – E. Joseph Cossman

When you’re excited, motivated, and focused on your goals, it’s easy to not let anything get in your way. But when you stop focusing on your WHY and start looking at bad things that are happening TO you (instead of FOR you), it’s easy to become discouraged.

The best way to remain focused on a goal is to write it down and look at it/think about it daily. If it is constantly in front of you, it will be harder to focus on anything else.

The next thing you should do is change your mindset to that of a victor, not a victim. Things don’t always go your way – there will always be obstacles. That’s what happens in life. But if you think of yourself as the hero of your own story, overcoming obstacles will just be the next part of the story – plus, it makes it more interesting! Think of how boring Harry Potter would have been if he didn’t have to defeat Voldemort, think of Frodo in the Lord of the Rings without having to overcome Sauron, or of the Rebel Alliance (good guys) without trying to overthrow the Galactic Empire in Star Wars. Without the possibility of defeat, it makes movies/books/life less interesting.

Lastly, practice gratitude to reframe your outlook when obstacles inevitably arise. There are always people out there less fortunate than you. You are capable of coming back stronger after defeat, of getting up after you get knocked down, and for that, you should be grateful. Practice being grateful and nothing can keep you down for long.

Talent isn’t everything

Everyone loves talent. Everyone loves natural ability. It’s enticing. “Think of everything that person could do! If they applied themselves, their potential is limitless!”

It’s easy to get caught up in hiring very talented individuals, even if their track record shows that talent doesn’t necessarily equate to performance OR when there is someone else who is nearly as capable, gives better effort, but is less talented. Why does this happen? Because they appear to have a much lower ceiling for what they can achieve. In fact, they may already have “overachieved” based on their talent profile.

But that kind of thinking is where we get it all wrong. Effort, attitude, and fit is what you need to look for when hiring someone. Let’s review why hiring for these three qualities will lead to a better team/company in the future.

Regarding effort…When you hire someone, you want to know that they will try to work their hardest, not just to suck up to you, but because that’s who they are as a person. Look at other actions they take in their lives. Do they do what they should be doing, even when it’s not what they want to be doing? Are they ok performing the mundane, yet necessary tasks, that need to get done to succeed? And are they performing those tasks well instead of just going through the motions? Consistent, high quality effort will take an individual far.

Regarding attitude…What good is hiring someone who is talented and gives good effort, but they have such a poor attitude that nobody on the team wants to work with them? They’re an individual superstar, but to the team they are a cancer. Not only does their poor attitude affect people’s mood and behavior when they are around that person, but sometimes it can suck the energy out of the office just with them in the building. Instead, look to hire people who are optimistic, who are curious, and who are looking for feedback. They should be willing to accept criticism and not allow themselves to get into a bad mood when things don’t go their way.

Regarding fit…Would you be ok spending 40 hours per week with this person? Do they fit into the culture of the team (or can you see the possibility of them fitting in)? If you try to fit a round peg into an oval hole, you might be able to make it work for a little while. But to have the best fit, where there are no gaps and no places that overlap, you need to find an oval peg for that oval hole. The harmony (synergy) in your office will translate to better production because when people try hard, have a positive attitude, and like each other, their co-workers will pitch in when needed and they can all help each other (and the company) grow/succeed.

Talent is great. I’m not saying to not hire talented people. In fact, if you can find a supremely talented individual who also has a great work ethic, positive attitude, and fits with your team, you just hit the jackpot. But what I am saying is that talent is only part of the equation, and too often it is too heavily weighted when making a decision to hire someone. Next time you go to make a hire, don’t be overly impressed by their resume, but instead take the time to interview them, to get to know them and their work ethic, and see how they fit with your team. If they can check off those other boxes, hire them. Talent is overrated. As long as you have a good training system in place, work ethic, attitude, and fit can overcome many obstacles.

Choosing your attitude

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Franklin

Don’t play the victim in your life story. Things will always happen that are outside of your control, they won’t go according to how you’d like them to go, but you can always choose your response the what happens. You can always choose your attitude towards any set of circumstances.

Don’t give anybody else power over your feelings and attitude. Nobody can make you “feel” a certain way. Only you have that power…whether you relinquish that power to somebody else is up to you.