attitude | The Caleb Barney Collection

Thoughts on different types of equality

Equality of outcome is not possible, nor should it be desired. We should be striving for equality of opportunity. Everyone should be afforded the same opportunity and then they can choose whether they want to take those opportunities or not. Opportunity will never equal outcome because other factors still play a large part in determining the result. You can affect the result through hardworking, working efficiently, working creatively, working collaboratively, etc. You can get better at networking or delegating. You can get better at doing. And you can always run into good luck or bad luck.

People should be compensated based on their production, results, and merit, but that’s not always going to happen. Because unlike playing sports where you have the same objective and many ways to track results with tangible numbers, we can’t always quantify the value of a team member. And then there is the human, team morale, and leadership aspect to consider too. How can you quantify what that is worth?

We should always strive to be better – for ourselves, our family, friends, co-workers/team, company, city, state, nation, and world. We should strive for a more equal playing field and never stop striving for it. But the best way to start change is to start with yourself. Control what you can control, try to influence what/who you can influence, and realize that nothing is perfect.

Playing the victim card vs taking control of your life

Don’t play the victim card. It may be true that you have been victimized. But until recent times, not many people cared and even less people offered to help.

It’s up to you to make your life better – not your family, not your friends, and not the government. If, by some chance, you are fortunate enough to have somebody care and help you out, that’s icing on the cake. But don’t expect that to happen. Nobody owes you anything, especially if they are not the ones who directly harmed you.

If you feel bad about something that has happened, that’s ok. I’m not saying you should be a robot. But I am saying that what’s done is done and you need to move on. Wasting time, energy, and thought on feeling bad for yourself isn’t going to help you moving forward. How can you make your life better starting today?

Let your past make you better, not bitter

Things don’t always go our way. Sometimes people have wronged you intentionally. Sometimes they’ve wronged you accidentally. Sometimes it could be chalked up to being young and stupid. Other times it could be attributed to them being spiteful, prejudiced, or racist.

No matter what the reason, use your past to benefit you. At the very least, you can say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…

Find the silver lining in all situations and learn to forgive, but not forget.

Progress, not perfection

If you won’t remember this specific event in a week (let alone in a year or at the end of your life), then stop worrying so much about it. It’s not a big deal. Don’t blow things out of proportion.

So what if you got a B (or C, D, or F) on an assignment? Does that mean that you’ll never succeed in life?

So what that you didn’t get 8 hours of sleep? Does that mean you’re going to be a zombie the next day?

So what if your kids have some chocolate or didn’t eat the most perfectly grown, organic/non-GMO food today? Does that mean that they won’t grow and their health is now in jeopardy?

The point is, we are more resilient than most people think and so are our kids (if we let them). Don’t think that everything has to be perfect, because it won’t be – and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to make it perfect. Go with the flow. Be nice. Treat others well. Do your best everyday. But be kind to yourself. Understand that the goal should be progress, not perfection.

How to get ahead

Do you know how to get ahead? Here are a few tips:

1. Try your best in everything you do. Don’t half-ass anything. If you’re going to take the time to do something, you might as well do the best you can. The time is going to pass anyways, so why would you choose to do anything less than your best?

2. Be interested. The more curious you are, the more you’ll enjoy learning. If you’re interested in something, you can spark someone else’s interest as well and have friends take part in the activity too.

3. Don’t think that you’re above something. If you are asked to do something at your current job, then do it. You’re not entitled to anything. And if you don’t have a job but are offered something that most would consider being beneath you in the eyes of others, really weigh your options before saying no. If you need the money, take the job and keep looking for something better. Don’t rely on unemployment or your parents to take care of you when you’re fully capable of doing so yourself.

4. Have a great attitude. There are a lot of things you can’t control, but one thing you can control is your attitude. Choose to be happy. Choose to see the best in every situation and in everybody. Nobody likes being around a complainer.

5. Look for opportunities. Keep your eyes open. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Keep learning, planning, practicing, and taking action. Opportunities are all around us if we just look for them.